Inventory Time!

One of the best things about this time of the year is the feeling that we have the opportunity to begin again. Even though we know, deep down inside, that all things past may still have their consequences and repercussions, that feeling of being able to start over persists. Maybe it is because we are “hope mongers”, as a good friend once describe humanity to me. Hope for a better future is what keeps us going, isn’t it? So, I am going to ask you to take advantage of this period of “hope” as it pertains to you as a leader.

Like any good business, taking inventory is a good first step to a better future. Take a look back over the past year and identify your successes as well as the places where you know you can improve. On the success front for this year, I could name quite a few, but a few stand out. I was able to wrap up a year of self-employment feeling pretty good about the progress that I had made in starting my own coaching and consulting business. It felt pretty good knowing that I could be successful in doing something that I am passionate about and to realize that I can actually make a decent living at it. As good as that felt, it felt even better to be recruited by one of my clients to join them as an executive coach and Sr. Director of Leadership Development. I am still doing most of the things I love to do, without having to worry about some of the less pleasant aspects of being a business owner. In addition, I have been able to help my new company launch several executive development programs that have been well received. I have also been on the leading edge of designing a new and exciting in-depth program for the development of our more senior executives that we will launch in the new year. In all of this I have learned a great deal about the Healthcare industry and have a new appreciation for the leaders who lead in a very complex and highly regulated environment. I have also continued to grow in my appreciation for the power of leadership. I have had the privilege and opportunity to provide coaching and consulting in a wide variety of organizations and industries, and can affirm that leadership is the single most important ingredient differentiating the good from the great.

In addition to the professional accomplishments, my wife and I were able to sell a house in the Atlanta area that had been on the market for over 18 months, and we didn’t even take too much of a beating. I felt that was pretty good in that particular market. I also had the privilege of officiating at the wedding of my son and his new bride. I was humbled and honored to be asked and was blessed to have been a part of such a special occasion in their lives.

Areas for improvement: Again, they are numerous, and there are probably many areas that I need to improve upon, that I don’t recognize, because they are my blind spots. (read more about Blind Spots in my November 2010 postings) So, one area for improvement is for me to be open to feedback that will make me more aware of these. More specifically, however, I believe I still have a long way to go in learning to navigate the internal workings of a new organization in an industry that is still new to me and that is undergoing significant change. I am glad to have a great coach and several colleagues who are committed to helping me navigate these waters successfully.

After taking inventory, it is a good idea to envision a more positive future. In other words, what kind of leader do you want to be a year from now? What kind of things will you be doing differently? How will you know that you are a more effective leader a year from now than you are today? What kinds of things will you see happening then that are not happening today? These are just a few of the questions that will help you get a better fix on your desired future.

Once you have a clear picture of that ideal future, it is time to identify the gaps, between where you are now and what you have envisioned, and then develop strategies to close those gaps. If you have significant changes to make, you will also need to incorporate a system of accountability that will ensure that you make the changes that you say are critical to your success. That system must include people with whom you will share your goals and strategies, and who will help you be accountable to those commitments. Without this part of the process, it is likely that next year will roll around and little will have changed. After having coached hundreds of leaders, I can assure you that good intentions alone don’t count for much.

My hope for you is that this process will provide you with the clarity for a very positive and prosperous New Year.

Merry Christmas

To a few this very wish will be offensive, or at minimum, viewed with caution. Seldom does a day go by without someone crying “foul” at a nativity scene being erected in celebration of the birth of Jesus, or of someone “Tebowing” or mimicking a young, inspirational football quarterback who gives God credit for everything in his life.

Even as a believer, I find myself frequently offended at things done in His name. I’ll never forget my thoughts as a young pastor trying to establish a new church in Vancouver. While I was trying to hold Christ up as a savior and bringer of hope, several televangelist of the time appeared to have lost their minds. Oral Roberts claimed God would take him on to if he didn’t raise $8Million. Jimmy Swaggart took a public dive into immorality. And Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker ripped off thousands of their sincere donors. My thoughts were, “How could an unchurched community ever be open to the message I was delivering in light of this lunacy?!”

To my amazement, they remained open to the same message that has always been meaningful to me, the message of hope, salvation, and fullness of life; to a light burden and easy yoke; to an abundant life; to joy unspeakable; to peace that passes understanding; to forgiveness and unconditional love; to a transformed life and a life fulfilled.

Truth be told, there will be always be things about Christ and Christianity that will be offensive. He said very clearly, that he would be a stumbling block to some. I hope that you are not one who stumbles at the mention of his name, or at the behavior of some of his followers and allow those to keep you from hearing the message he came to deliver.

Managerial Words that Make My Skin Crawl

“I’m disappointed.” It’s hard to imagine that there are managers who still use these words. I cringe when I hear them. I am sure that others have significantly more negative reactions.

These words are evidence either of a really low emotional intelligence, or an overblown ego and arrogance on the part of the managers who use them. These words tell the person being addressed that they are supposed to live to please the manager and make them happy. Unfortunately, there managers who believe this is as it should be.

Further, these words are paternal in that they treat respectable adults as if they were very young children, indentured servants or, even worse, little puppies rather than people. They are designed to shame and attack the character of individuals.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t commonly recommend these words for parents either. However, for a very young child they can be motivating, if only in a negative way. The trouble with these words is they intend to instill shame, telling the person that they are not worthy of the praise or attention they seek or desire. Such shaming destroys self-confidence and is antithetical to the development of capable people. As children grow, they should be transitioning from living to please their parents or others, to having confidence in their own values, and living in alignment with them.

It is possible that there are employees who have not matured past the need to live to please others. And unfortunately, there are still managers who believe that employees are so immature that they are primarily motivated by external rather than internal sources. Either of these is a tragedy.

It is the responsibility of the manager to treat every person with the highest respect, even when they make mistakes, miss deadlines, or generally screw up, and even when they have to let them go. Shaming may get short term results, but will not resolve the problem that led to the mistakes. A more effective approach is for the manager to step into a place of inquiry to find out what was behind the mistake, missed deadline, or problem behavior. When a manager gets to the root cause and helps a person discover a better approach, they are on their way toward developing more capable people.

There are a lot more managerial words that make my skin crawl, but these two are on the all time top of my list. My hope is that you will eliminate them, and the thought processes behind them from your managerial vocabulary and begin looking for a more effective and respectful developmental approach.

Maybe the Small Things Do Matter Most

Most of us have read and quickly grasped Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, by Richard Carlson. In the context of his writing, that is probably pretty good advice. However, when it comes to managing and leading people, the small stuff really seems to matter.

This was driven home to me this week when I was out touring one of our hospital facilities. We had an opportunity to see, first hand, the great work that the nurses, staff and administrators do to take care of our patients. I will say that group of people deserve huge accolades. They give of themselves tirelessly and passionately, never allowing one person to feel like they are simply just another number.

One of the nurses giving us a tour said that she works for her hospital because of the manager who she first worked for in a temporary basis. She said, “I just loved my manager, so when she asked me to come on full time, I jumped at the chance.” I asked her what it was that made her love her manager. She said, “You want to know what the key to being a great manager is?” Of course as a leadership coach, I was anxious to hear her describe it. I am not sure what I was thinking might come next, but the answer she gave was not it. She said, “The key to being a great manager is ensuring I get my 30 minute lunch break.” She went on to explain that the job of a nurse never lets up as long as there are patients with needs and paperwork to complete. She said if the manager didn’t insist that we take our break, none of us would, except the smokers. She went on to say how important it is for her to get the break, step away from the demands, catch her breath, relax a moment, or make a phone call.

As I said, that is not what I expected to hear, but it drives home how important it is for a manager to be truly sensitive and responsive to the needs of their employees, especially the “Small Stuff”. This is only one example of managers and leaders at this hospital making this a daily practice. As a result, we witnessed fully engaged, smiling and happy employees who were passionate about their work and taking care of their patients, or as they put it, Friends and Family Taking Care of Friends and Family in their community. I am confident that the result of their efforts will be equally satisfied patients and doctors whom this group serves.

Kaleidoscope Leadership

You have looked around yourself at work and things are not going as you would like. The team does not seem to be communicating well or working together effectively. Or you have just returned from an incredibly valuable training conference and you can see numerous things that could be improved to make a difference. You try to share your ideas, but they seem to fly past your colleagues with nothing seeming to stick. You have little authority to command the attention of your colleagues or to impose the changes that you believe would make a difference. What do you do? In such circumstances it is easy to become frustrated and consider giving up. However, you know that giving up is not in your DNA, and finding a new job right now is just not in the cards. What can you do?

I have been a student of systems theory since my graduate education in marriage and family therapy which was shaped by that philosophy. One key component of systems theory is that movement or change in one party in a system can dramatically affect all the other parties. While marriage and family therapy is much more effective when we have as many parties in the room as possible, we learned that if other members of the system are resistant to therapy, changes made by one party can make a significant difference in the functioning of the entire system.

Like a Kaleidoscope, when one piece shifts, the entire picture changes dramatically. This aspect of systems theory applies to any type of human system, including your team or company. You can make a significant difference in your organization simply by shifting your behavior, style, reaction, response, interactions, etc. While it would be ideal for everyone in your organization to be on the same page, it is a rare occurrence. And, while it would be ideal for every team member to go through the same training program that you just went through, it is not always possible. The reason organizations keep on training is because they know that even one person shifting their behavior, approach, style or response will shift the entire organization.

So, make the difference you can make. Keep on sharing your ideas. They may eventually stick. Keep on adjusting your behavior and style to achieve greater effectiveness. You never know who will learn from you. Modify your interactions with another team member and watch how their behavior or response shifts. If you have been in disagreement and conflict, shift from advocacy to inquiry. If you have been avoiding, try speaking up by offering your thoughts and ideas. If you have been acquiescing for the sake of peace, make the elephant in the room visible and see what happens. If you have given up, go gather new data and analysis that will help you support your ideas. Or, consider researching your colleagues opposing idea with in-depth analysis so you may better understand the rationale for the case they are making. There are a lot of things one person can do to make a difference. Giving up is not one of them!

Strong-Ties: The Stuff that Matters to Exceptional Leaders

Weak ties allow us to connect and network with people around the world. Strong-Ties are foundational to success and effectiveness in life and leadership. (For more on Strong-Ties philosophy, check out one of my earlier posts.) The following Strong-Ties are the focus of development for the Exceptional Leader:

They pursue Professional Competence. Exceptional leaders are students of their profession and stay up to date on trends in their industry that may affect their business. They are also students of their organization and the talent that surrounds them, and align these to ensure the are designed to maximize the results they are focused on achieving.

They pursue Personal Excellence. Exceptional leaders are constantly refining themselves and developing their skills and character. Research indicates that a leader's effectiveness is based more on EQ that IQ. EQ, or Emotional Intelligence, is defined by self awareness, self management, social awareness and relationship management. They use a variety of tools and coaches to help them gain an accurate picture of the kind of leader they are today, and they develop solid strategies that will help them become the leader they envision. They have usually developed a personal purpose, mission and vision that serve as guide he keeps them focused and on track. They capitalize on their strengths and ensure that their weaknesses don't lead to their derailment.

They are Students of Leadership. Exceptional Leaders have a unique appreciation of their role as leaders, fully aware of the impact they have on those they lead and on the organization as a whole. They refuse to allow the position to go to their head. Keeping their ego in check, they focus on the development of others and of the organization.


They have Well-Defined Core Values. Identifying your core values is as critical as developing your business plan. Research is growing in the field of Spiritual Intelligence, which takes a look at the foundational values that form the basis for decision making. Core Values are the anchor or central focal point of life that helps leaders keep all other Strong-Ties in balance. Unfortunately there are too many stories of leaders who have derailed and caused others to stumble because they did not clearly identify their values and maintain their commit to them as the guiding principles for their life, leadership, decisions and relationships.


They exhibit Mental Strength and Emotional Wellness. Not unlike the Olympic athlete or members of the elite special forces, leaders of all types must be prepared for the mental pressures that accompany leadership. It takes unusual mental stamina, agility and strength to perform under these pressures, an aspect of leadership that is often underestimated. The stresses and strains of decision making that affect you, your family and the lives of so many other stakeholders require that you have a sound strategy for maintaining exceptional mental and emotional health and personal well-being.

They keep their Primary Promises. Very few effective and respected leaders have achieved their goals and objectives alone. More often than not, they are supported by a spouse and family who have been with them on the journey. Unfortunately, the tales of leadership are filled with the casualties of broken marriages and children run amuck, and with leaders who have lost their credibility because they were ineffective in these most primary and basic relationships. It is possible to achieve success without failing your family, but it will take openness, planning and determination.

They develop strategies for Financial Soundness. Money, like power, often accompanies leadership and success. Unfortunately, both have the ability to corrupt or derail really good people. Developing a sound financial philosophy and strategy will serve you well through this leadership journey whether you are blessed with little, enough, or more than you ever dreamed possible. That leads to a great question worth exploring, What is enough? But that’s a topic for another discussion.

They maintain their Physical Wellness. Much like mental and emotional stamina, physical stamina is required for the journey. Simply put, leadership can take its toll on our body. It is so easy to get so caught up in the tasks of leadership, or so exhausted by them that we simply neglect our own health. Developing a plan for maintaining your physical health and stamina will go a long way toward finishing strong. Much like the marathon, there is nothing quite like rounding the corner of life for the home stretch and crossing the finish line among the cheers of friends, family and our Greatest Fan who will be saying, 'Well done!'

They maintain Strong Relationships. Isolation is a path of least resistance for leaders, but it is also the most dangerous for a host of reasons. 'Community' is used broadly here, referring to those you surround yourself with (business and accountability partners), as well as those you serve. Since there is only so much time in a day, week, month, year, lifetime, it becomes critical that you think through your plan for community which may include your selection of business partners, clients, suppliers, as well as your involvement in religious, civic and charitable activities. Involvement in the latter of these will do wonders for the development of perspective about life, work, challenges, obstacles and the strength of your fellow human beings.

They free themselves from destructive Strong-Holds. There is often a tug-o-war between the incorporation of the Strong-Ties that lead to success and effectiveness, and the more destructive Ties that seem bent on ensuring our failure. If we are not careful these destructive elements in our life actually become Strong-Holds that limit our success and effectiveness. Some of the destructive Ties consist of negative messages that we have either heard from others or ourselves over the course of our lives, and have come to believe as truth. They can consist of negative self-image and attitudes, bitterness toward someone who has treated us unjustly, or habits and addictions that seem to be unbreakable. Though it is true that these Strong-Holds can feel like an anchor that keeps us from rising to the top, they are not insurmountable, nor do they need to continue to be the controlling force in your life.

Small Shifts by Leaders Make a Big Difference with Employees

When it comes to motivating employees to do their best and achieve at the highest levels, it looks like leaders miss the mark more than they would like.

According to Carloyn Dewar and Scott Keller, Authors of Beyond Performance: How great organizations build ultimate competitive advantage, we miss that mark primarily because we fail to tap into what really is important to our employees. First, they point out that we often appeal to the circumstances of the company when attempting to engage our people in a change initiative and fail to appeal to the other four sources of motivation. For those committed to the company this is good, but that is only 20%, while we miss engaging the other 80% of our workforce. Secondly, they suggest that we are too transactional in our rewards and fail to offer up the relationship-building rewards. Thirdly, we often fail to ask the questions that truly engage employees, and too often we fail to stop and listen to their answers which let them tell their story of engagement. And, finally, we tend to focus on their failures to perform more frequently than we focus on the positive contributions.

Shifting our focus just a bit may be all that is necessary to shift our organizations into a higher gear.

Thoughts from Get Motivated Speakers

I had the opportunity to attend the Get Motivated seminar in Nashville yesterday. I was not particularly impressed with the heavy sales pitches during the day, but I knew going in that to hear these speakers for two bucks, I was going to require hearing a sales pitch or two. All in all, the speakers provide great food for thought.

I thought you might enjoy some of the key points I considered noteworthy:

Krish Dhanam
Learned from Zig Ziglar who helped him know his faith as his future as a speaker and trainer.
Understands the blessing of the U.S. having come here as an immigrant with $9 in his pocket.
Book: ­The American Dream from and Indian Heart

Hope in Turbulent Times comes from:

• Genuine Leadership



• Restored Relationships: Political correctness may be the one thing that can destroy the U.S. - giving rise mediocrity. There is no such thing as “equal”, just fair.



• Amicable Relationships



• Complete Partnerships



• Effective Stewardship – leave more than you take

Howard Putnam, former CEO of Southwest Airlines. Started out as a baggage handler in the airline industry. His father taught him to pilot as he did his son.
Succeeding through Turbulence requires:

• Value of Preparation: When the time to perform arrives, the time to prepare is past



• Very Clear Vision – a Clear Flight Plan – What is your ultimate value proposition? Sell the vision and the experience – now you have a brand i.e. Southwest, Starbucks



• Support it with the Culture. Hire attitude and fit for the culture – Teach skills. Pay attention to the small stuff



• Get balance in your life: An airplane will fly with an engine with two propellers if they are balanced. Are your priorities (propellers on your engine) in balance – work, family, faith, health



• Get out of your comfort zone and do something new and challenging till you die.



• Thoughtful bumper sticker “Are you really the person your dog thinks you are?”
  

Rudy Giuliani – America’s Mayor

• We’re in a revolution. Most people don’t know they are in one until it is over – i.e. the industrial revolution, travel, technology.



• Catastrophizing is the new marketing strategy because it seems to be the only thing that can get people’s attention anymore.



• Allow information and technology to be your ally. NYC was changed from a crime ridden city to one of the safest cities in the country by our use of Com.Stat that helped us track crime and deploy the right resources in the right place. We changed our welfare agencies with a similar tracking program that turned welfare workers into employment agents helping people find good jobs. We rewarded them for their success in helping people find work and stay in good jobs.



• Advice:
  Read – for knowledge and fun
  Listen – to successful people – copy relentlessly
  Take Notes – engages the mind
  Love People and be there for them, especially in their time of need
  

Colin Powell – former Secretary of State

• In my first leadership post, I was told that my job as Lieutenant is to put followers in a position where they can get the job done and succeed.



• Be concerned for all – from janitor to president – all are valued and important to the mission.



• Take care of the troops – equipment, tools, resources, recognition, notes of encouragement and thanks, getting them connected.



• Don’t tolerate poor performers – don’t allow them to hold the good performers back



• Build trust – Will they follow you, if only out of curiosity?



• There are only about 500M people caught up in conflict around the world. We don’t hear much about the other 6.5B who are not in conflict and who are out there working hard to make their economies work. We should focus more attention there.



• The U.S. is still the inspiration for the world.
  

Lou Holtz

I’m a pretty simple man. Don’t tell people about your problems. 90% don’t care and the other 10% are glad you have them.

• Choose your Attitude. You are going to get knocked down. Choose an attitude that gets you back up.



• Great stories about coming into the South Carolina program and getting knocked down, about getting fired from Arkansas and being hired by Notre Dame, about having to suspend his 3 star players just before Arkansas played Oklahoma – where they went into the game as a 24 pt underdog. Went into the locker room and said “Everyone is telling us why we can’t win. I want you to tell me why we can beat OK.” Players gradually began speaking – got fired up and beat OK 31 to 6!



• Dream – you will go nowhere without dreams. Started marriage with 108 goals and have completed 102 of them. You’re either growing or dying – don’t stop risking



• Make good choices. Committed to excellence. Do right. When I got fired in AR – after leading them to their seven best seasons ever, I wanted to retaliate and go to the media. My wife wouldn’t let me. It was Frank Broyles who later told the guys at Notre Dame to hire me, because he was going to try to hire him back. If I had let my bitterness show, I would never have gotten that recommendation.



• Do everything to the best of your ability. Focus on what you can do – just like that underdog AR team against OK.



• Show people you care. Never attack the performer – just the performance
  

James Smith – I don’t understand why people buy and wear shirts with someone else’s name and number on them. They are certainly not wearing a shirt with your name and number on it. Why not wear a shirt with your own name and number on it?

Bill Cosby

• Told the story of his 1st 16 months as a comedian wanting to play the prestigious Kelly’s Club in Chicago.



• How he had been incredibly successful in smaller venues and was recruited to play this one – his dream.



• How he let the demons of insecurity completely consume him and how he failed miserably during the first show of the night.



• Then how the off stage banter between him and the person who was to introduce him was being overheard by the audience, and got them to laughing, which eased the tension and allowed him to go on stage and bring down the house.
  

Mary Buffet – daughter of Warren Buffet – on Warren’s investment advice

• Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful



• Buy companies that have durable competitive advantage – household names that people will keep on buying in good times and bad – Coke, Johnson and Johnson, Gillette – those that own a piece of our conscious mind.



• Buy Timeless Companies – similar to above. The reason Buffett does not invest in most technology stocks is because they are too easily put out of business.



• Buy when the Price is Right. He bought RJR Nabisco after the Surgeon General required cigarettes to be labeled as causing cancer. He said that people forgot about the Nabisco part of the company and as the stock plunged, it became undervalued.



• One rule – “Never Lose Money”



• Can’t make a good deal with a bad guy. It is easier to stay out of trouble than to get out of trouble.

Christopher Gardner – the subject of the movie – “The Pursuit of Happiness” with Will Smith

• Memoirs are hard to write because you are required to open all those little boxes that you have closed up in your mind and heart that are labeled “Do Not Touch”.



• Difference in the movie and reality: my son was only 14 months old when we lived in the homeless shelters and in the park bathroom. I was not treated well by my stepfather and I was committed to be the best father I could be. I promised myself that my kids would know their father.



• My first step in overcoming the adversity was owning the fact that I had actually driven myself to this place (of homelessness). Once I owned it, I knew that I could change it. The reason I knew is because my mother instilled in me that I could be anything I wanted to be. She almost over did it as I was intent on being Miles Davis. I played the trumpet pretty well, but finally about 18 yrs old she told me that someone else already had that job. But I knew I wanted to be world class at something.



• I fought hard to have the movie script rewritten such that Will Smith would leave that same optimism with his son in the movie (referring to the scene on the basketball court).



• Find your button – the one thing that you’re truly passionate about. Nobody needs to dig it but you. Mom called them “my ghosts” when I started dreaming. As soon as you need someone to validate it, it may be a mirage.\



• My mom used to tell me to “Keep working because the Calvary ain’t coming. God’s too busy helping people that are worse off than you.” When you find that passion, keep working.

Can Apple Sustain the Legacy of Steve Jobs?

There are few leaders like Steve Jobs who can be credited for changing the world through their creativity, innovation, and commitment to their beliefs and values. I do not have close ties to Apple, but everything I read and hear about the organization suggest that it has been a great place to work, a place where people feel they are a part of an important mission and purpose, one that was clearly and regularly espoused by Mr. Jobs and other executives and leaders throughout the company.

Steve Jobs will likely be credited for his innovations in technology, and well he should. However, as great and wonderful as these innovations are, I believe his greater achievement is leading Apple to be the organization it is today, a purposeful organization, full of engaged employees who are equally dedicated to the mission and who are proud to wear the name. My hope is that he has built an organization with such strength of culture and leadership who will carry on to even greater accomplishments.

Some think that is impossible. However, I am reminded of another great leader who changed the world with his innovations in the retail industry. When Sam Walton died, the Wall Street Journal headlines pronounced "Wal-Mart Hits the Wall!" All of us associated with Wal-Mart know exactly where we were the day Mr. Sam died. He had built such a powerful culture in an organization that allowed all of us to be winners. We were concerned about what would happen next, who would be the voice of the culture and what the future might hold. I think Sam anticipated this and worked diligently to prepare the next generation of leaders to step up. In fact those leaders had already stepped up and had been leading the operations and culture for years before his passing. When he died, we all mourned deeply. We missed the man who gave us all credit for the accomplishments and impact that had occurred over the years.

But Wal-Mart did not hit the wall as predicted. When Sam died, the company had about $44 billion in sales, had just barely ventured into the international arena and had recently conceptualized the Supercenter concept with groceries a part of the product line. David Glass and Don Soderquist stepped into Sam's shoes and led the company to $244 Billion in sales before Don retired, with a culture as strong and vibrant as Sam left it. Today their sales are at $419 Billion. They have presence around the world and are still building on the vibrant values and culture that Sam instilled into the DNA of the company.

There is a lot of similarity between Steve Jobs and Sam Walton. Both were visionary. Both believed in people, often more than the people believed in themselves. Both were innovators. Neither thought that the success of their organizations were all about them, but held that that it was all about the mission, the purpose, and the people. Both built this into the DNA of their companies. I have the greatest hopes for Apple because I have witnessed the impact that another great leader had on another great company.

My prayers are with all of you in Apple who are mourning the loss of a great man and leader. My best wishes to all of you who attempt to sustain what he started.

What Happens When You Say "Charge"?

Trustworthiness is frequently listed among corporate core values and leadership competencies, but it is not always easily defined or understood. I think Rob Roy, former Navy Seal and Founder of SOT-G, an executive leadership and team development company staffed by former members of the Special Forces, captured the essence of trustworthiness in a recent interview with Inc. Magazine.

. . . a great leader is someone who is going to step up at a difficult moment and make that next decision. He'll go into it blind, but people will follow him, because they'll know he always has their best interests in mind.

Do those you are leading believe this about you? Or do they perceive you to be a person blinded by your own agenda or ambition, or insecure to the point that you fail to stand up for your team, or an attention-seeker, taking rather than sharing credit, while reserving the glory roles or assignments for yourself?

Those questions are not easily answered. Your good intentions mean little when it comes to how you are perceived as a leader. What counts are consistent actions, decisions and behaviors that, over time, send the clear message that you are acting in their interests; that the mission is worthy of their sacrifice; that you are there to equip and empower them to achieve what they may have thought to be impossible; and that you are sure to credit them for the successes for which you are frequently praised.

This kind of trust is gained over time, and lost over night. If you have it, guard it carefully. If you don’t yet have it, examine your actions and decisions to understand how they are being perceived, and make the adjustments. Having a fully engaged team is always beneficial, but absolutely invaluable when it is time to take the next big hill.

Dangerous Assumptions

I was in a discussion recently with a group of employees who were sharing their thoughts about how much they missed the company-wide executive updates that had, at one time, occurred on a quarterly basis. It seems that the room in which the group had been meeting became over crowded because of the growth of the organization. With the overcrowding, the senior leadership team decided to forgo the meetings in favor of passing information through department heads, at least until better facilities became available. I thought the insights of the group were interesting as they expressed their desire to hear from their leaders. They indicated that the lack of communication had left them feeling detached and out of the loop, even somewhat disengaged from what is in the minds and even in the hearts of the leaders. It also opened the door for misinterpretation of events and dangerous assumptions that were not necessarily favorable to the heart and intent of the executives.

Although this was a highly engaged and committed work group, the lack of communication from the executive team sets the stage for turning a very positive culture in the wrong direction. When left to make their own interpretations and assumptions you can be sure that people will reach different conclusions than what you, as their leader, would like for them to.

I was in conversation with a CEO of fairly large, very high performing organization recently who seemed to understand this better than most. When our discussion turned toward communication he made it pretty clear that this was one of his top priorities, even though it is not necessarily on his list of favorite things to do. He mentioned that from a personality perspective he is an introvert and would rather do a lot of things other than stand in front of a group, but that he does it because he believes it is critical to his team's success. He said that he tries a variety of ways to communicate with the entire team on a regular basis. One month he may conduct a town-hall meeting. On another he may send a newsletter or a comprehensive e-mail. He said he never lets a quarter go by without a town-hall meeting, because without such meetings and communications that keep people informed and up to date, the misinterpretations and false assumptions will take on a life of their own and potentially undermine everything else they are trying to accomplish.

Another organization I worked with became pretty creative when they experienced similar overcrowding. They were so intent on developing and creating a high performance culture of engagement, that they utilized broadcast voicemails and WebEx interface until they were able to move into a larger facility. But as soon as they moved into the larger facility they made a couple of acquisitions that took them across the country and around the world. They immediately purchased video conferencing system that could be used for all kinds of communications, one of which was their monthly "state of the company" meetings. Those were especially invaluable to them during the initial downturn in the economy when there was so much uncertainty. The CEO wasn’t a master public speaker, but he was a great communicator. During that downturn, the employee engagement, productivity and growth of the company exceeded all expectations and industry benchmarks.

Another example comes from the largest company in the world which I had the privilege of working closely with for over 15 years. Wal-Mart makes it a high priority to communicate with their Associates. They do it in large groups, via in-store satellite broadcasts, e-mail, twitter, small store meetings, Saturday morning meetings facilitated by the executives, executive broadcast voice mails, quarterly state of the company meetings conducted by members of the executive team, through their Friday morning officer and senior management meetings, which are immediately followed by department meeting updates to disseminate the information just shared, and on and on, I’m sure. In a company of that size, I guess you just cannot over communicate! I believe that is one of the elements that helps make a really large company feel small and entrepreneurial.

I personally believe that this is true for companies of any size. The higher the quality of the communication, the higher the employee engagement. It is easy for leaders to lose sight of this critical success factor. They are in the thick of things every day, and those they hang out with most of the time are right in there with them. It is easy for them to believe (assume) that everyone is on the same page, or that people will understand why they are too busy for such meetings, or that someone else is communicating the message they want to have delivered. Now those are dangerous assumptions!

9/11: Three Leaders Who Gave More Than Great Speeches

Every one of you reading this remembers where you were on that tragic day in 2001 when the planes struck the World Trade Center Towers. I was in my office at the Soderquist Center for Leadership and Ethics, near the campus of John Brown University in Northwest Arkansas, when one of our administrative assistants told me the news of the first plane hitting the towers. I immediately went from our little off campus offices to the main campus to find a television set, where I sat with a dozen or so students in stunned silence as we watched the horror of that tower in flames, and then with greater horror as the second plane struck the other tower, and more so as we heard about the attacks on the Pentagon and the thwarted attack of Flight 93 on the White House. Our horror was at its peak as we watched people jumping out of windows in attempts to save their lives, and ultimately, as the two towers collapse in a heap of rubble, ash and smoke.

The emotions of that morning are difficult to put into words, because they range from numbness to fear, to anger, to grief, to incredible loss, to compassion, to empathy, to helplessness and to a sense that this truly cannot be happening.

Like many of you, I did what I could at the time, which was call friends, loved ones, and colleagues to share this moment with them, to remind them that I love them, and to determine whether there was anything that could or should be done to support them.

What I remember most, was the next couple of hours of silence from everyone except the television reporters. We really did not know what had happened and we really did not know what the next step would be. And finally, the voices of leadership came through crisp and clear.

There were three voices that brought everything back in focus for me. The first was Mayor Rudy Giuliani, who was the first official to remind the people of New York and all of America of who we are, what we are made of, and how we will get through this incredibly tragedy. I don’t know about you, but I really needed that reminder. When it seemed as if our world was being destroyed and a major threat was intent on destroying us, Giuliani reminded us that we will never let such cowards destroy the spirit of who we are.

The second voice was that of President George Bush. It seemed like forever, before we finally heard from him, but when we did, he expressed the anger and rage that every American felt. I grew up in Texas where courage was king and toughness was a badge of honor. When the president came on with his Texas rhetoric and promised that we would do everything in our power to find and bring to justice the terrorist who did this, to rout them out, smoke them out and hunt them down, I was once again reminded who we are, the mission in front of us, and the faith and courage it would take to see it through.

The third voice came late that evening when the people of Arkansas finally heard from their Governor, Mike Huckabee. His summary was the most memorable of all I had heard that day, as he, like the others, reminded us who we are. He also reminded us whose we are, that we are children of God, and under His protection; that we are people of faith, of hope, and of love, all of which are essential for getting through such a tragedy.

Those three voices of leadership were exactly what I needed that day. They gave me hope, courage and determination in the face of incredibly difficult circumstances. I know that leaders are not made with speeches. That is obvious from our current Speechmaker in Chief. Leadership is most evident where the rubber meets the road. These three moved from great speeches to great action. Giuliani mobilized the nation to reclaim New York. Bush crystallized the efforts of the nation our security and on bringing our terrorist enemies to justice. Huckabee returned us to our faith, to our national hope and optimism, and to love and compassion, all of which are foundational to our nation’s success and prosperity.

I am thankful for leaders who speak well, and especially for those who follow their words with tangible results.

Retaining Top Talent

In every executive survey that I have read or participated in, senior leaders of organizations list "finding and retaining top talent" as one of the top 3 issues that concern them most as they look to the future. I actually believe that most of these leaders are actually pretty good at attracting top talent to their organizations. In fact, it is not unusual for the CEO or Senior Executive to make the final sales pitch to a top candidate to persuade them to join the company and participate in the mission. That kind of attention and pitch is often all it takes to persuade the candidate to cross over to their team. Unfortunately, that is where many of these leaders and their organizations drop the ball. Highly talented people believe they will be welcomed, valued, inquired of, respected, recognized and rewarded. That is what they heard when you said “we really need someone like you with your skills, background and talent.”

The Corporate Leadership Council recently published their survey findings indicating that 25% of corporation’s top employees are planning to change jobs in the next 12 months. That is up from 10% in 2008. Now, I don’t necessarily think “top employees” in this survey is equivalent to top performers, but those stats are startling nonetheless. I believe the problem is even greater since there are so many top performers and high potentials who are actually under-employed as a result of the economy. Many have accepted jobs in companies or locations that are far different than they preferred. They are doing their best to make a contribution while keeping their eye open for the opportunities for the “right” position. This all seems to be substantiated by the fact that employee loyalty has hit a three year low according to a recent MetLife Study.

So how do organizations drop the ball? It is seldom in the tangible rewards category. In fact a recent PDI Ninth House survey, fewer than 10% of people in this category cited compensation and advancement as critical aspects of the job. Everyone knows that these people can get the tangibles anywhere they go, so they are generally offered competitive packages. So, in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, the Security question is answered. When the tangibles are a given, what is truly important becomes the differentiator. Maslow describes these as those things that give Significance, i.e. stimulating, challenging work and an opportunity to have influence in the organization.

What can you do to retain your high performers? Remember the Significance equation. Stay in the recruiting mode for a while longer to ensure the employee has the opportunity to gain Significance. As a hiring manager, you will have to tap into what it is that brings this person Significance. Too often the manager believes they have a marriage arrangement while the newly hired top performer looks at it as an engagement in which they are still evaluating the opportunity.

Communicate with them as a partner rather than as an employee. Stop delivering the unspoken messages that the employee should be grateful you hired them. To a high performer, this is simply demeaning and condescending. Instead of feeling like a partner in the opportunity, the top performer begins to feel like an underling, and they are not likely to tolerate that for long.

Ratchet up the on-boarding process, and actually begin to deliver on your promise. I believe that recovery from failure in this step is near impossible. Let’s face it, even top performers need help getting acclimated to a new organization, and it takes more than an office, a computer and log-in instructions to make that happen. The on-boarding process tells the new employee whether you really understand the change process and whether they truly are valued as you indicated. Make sure your on-boarding process includes actions for 60-90 days and includes specific steps to increase acclimation and engagement. Within the first few weeks a top performer will make the determination whether they are here to stay or ready to move on. The last thing you want to do is to have to win them back when you shouldn’t have lost them in the first place.

Recognize the personal impact of change. Change is hard, even if its change that is chosen. Taking into account added stressors such as transitioning a spouse and/or family, trying to buy or sell a home in this economy, a new city, and the losses associated with moving away from the familiar, and there can be more reasons why this shouldn’t work than why it should. Sensitivity to the personal side of change can go a long way. And remember acclimation to a new community can easily take longer than acclimation to a new job.

The executive who sold them must stay engage with them even if they are not the hiring manager. These top performers and high potentials frequently find themselves reporting to someone who feels threatened by their presence. In these circumstances information is withheld and communication and access is blocked. If there is not a concerted effort on the part of those senior executives who expressed enthusiasm about this candidate, to connect with and engage them, they will disengage and lose their enthusiasm.

Tap the talent. There is nothing more conducive to adapting to a tough change than for the top performers to really like what they do and to be fully engaged in it. Too frequently, the work these employees are given often fails to challenge or stimulate. The organization fails to tap into the expertise, experience and knowledge this person brings to the table, and when these talented individuals do not feel challenged it is not long before they begin to feel undervalued and disrespected and to wonder whether they have made a big mistake. Either way, they begin to question how long they can keep this up just for the money.

The Art of Leading Change

The axioms and quotes regarding change are abundant

The poet, Samuel Johnson is quoted as saying, “The chains of habits are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.”

In business we hear, “The only thing that is constant around here is change.”

In counseling it is often said, “People don’t change until the pain of remaining the same is worse than the pain of changing.”

We’ve all heard and experienced how difficult change can be. It can be especially challenging if you are the one leading change in your organization. In an earlier blog, I mentioned the rate of failure of organizational change initiatives and some of the new research published by McKenzie, so we will not go into that again. However, I would like to tell you a story and ask you to consider the principles that you can use to lead others through the changes that you are attempting to initiate in your organization.

When I was working in a previous career, I had a conversation with a person that went something like this:

I’m having panic attacks and feeling really nervous right now. I want to fly out to a certain city to vacation with my daughter and my grandbaby, but I don’t think I can even think about getting on the plane without going into a panic.

Now, there are several directions that one could take after hearing such a statement. Some would begin to inquire about the nature and duration of the problem. Some would recommend a lengthy counseling treatment program. Others would recommend some type of group therapy. Others would begin to inquire about the origin and duration of the panic attacks, trying to pinpoint a triggering event. Others would have begun to suggest alternative means of transportation to make the trip. I believe that each of these approaches have merit to a certain degree, and I may have even used them on occasion in similar situations. But none seemed appropriate on this occasion.

“Wow, that must be pretty tough, thinking about not getting to spend time with your daughter and grandson!?” I responded.

Yeah, it is, he said with sadness, loneliness and bit of hopelessness in his voice. I really love that kid. I’d like them to live closer to me, but they just really can’t afford it right now. I’d like to help them, but I can’t afford it either. I can barely afford to make this airplane trip, but I’m going to figure out how to make it happen. You know, he really likes me too. I can’t wait to see him, well, both of them. I’d really like to buy a little piece of land and put a couple of trailers on it so we could live close to each other. Now that would be a dream come true.

“How much would that cost?”

I guess I’d need about fifteen thousand dollars to get things started.

“Well, I don’t know what we can do about that, but let’s see if there may be anything else contributing to these panic attacks that we can deal with and go from there, ok?”

Ok, he responded.

“Do you drink alcohol?”

Yeah, a little.

“How much?”

I don’t know. Not much.

“I’ll tell you what, why don’t you tell me what you drink?”

I drink beer, that’s all.

“Think about it for a few minutes and tell how many beers you think you drink every day.”

I don’t really know. I have never thought about counting them. I just enjoy them.

“Take your time and just think about it. You’ll come up with the answer in a few minutes.”

Well, come to think of it, I guess I drink about a case of beer every day, because I pick one up every night at the convenience store on the way home from work.

“So, you drink a whole case every night?”

Oh no! That’d be crazy! I drink part of it at night and the rest of it before I go to work the next morning.

“Really? Every day?”

Yeah, I believe so.

“Do you think that the alcohol could be contributing to the panic attacks?”

I never gave it much thought. Do you think that could be part of the problem?

“Tell me how you came to conclude that drinking a case of beer every day is “Not much”?”

Well, my dad was a stumbling down drunk. He drank all the time and I am no stumbling down alcoholic, I know that!

“Do you think you are anything like your father?”

No way! He couldn’t even hold down a job and was a terrible father and couldn’t keep his family together. I still have my job. I go to work every day, for over twenty years now. I love my family. Well at least my daughters and my grandson. My wife left me a few years ago.

“So, how are things going at your job?”

I’m doing pretty good. I’m a truck driver. Or, well, I used to be a truck driver until they made me stop because of a few too many minor accidents. Now I just move the trucks and trailers around in the warehouse yard. I’d like to get back on the road again, when I get past these panic attacks. I think they’ll work with me. They are really good people. They are the ones who suggested I call and talk to you.

"So you may be just a little like your father?"

Maybe a little.

"Do you smoke, because sometimes the nicotine can contribute to the feelings of nervousness, you know, and that may be part of what causes your panic attacks?"

Yeah, a little. You really think smoking could be causing the panic attacks? I never gave that much thought.

“How much?”

How much what?

How much do you smoke?

I don’t know. Not much.

“I’ll tell you what, why don’t you tell me what you smoke?”

I smoke cigarettes.

“Think about it for a few minutes and tell how many cigarettes you think you smoke every day.”

Well, I guess I smoke about 3 packs a day. I buy them when I get my beer.

“Wow! That’s a lot of cigarettes! Are you worried about your health?”

I haven’t given it much thought.

“Well, you mentioned loving that grandson of yours, and I understand that cigarettes cause a lot of cancer, and I was just thinking how awful it would be for your grandson to lose his grandpa to cancer.”

Yeah, I really need to stay healthy for him. He doesn’t have a father. I am the only man in his life and I think it good for us to hang out together, don’t you?

“Have you ever thought about how much it costs you to buy your beer and cigarettes?”

Not really.

"Well, I don’t smoke or drink beer, but I understand that it can be pretty expensive. How much do you think you spend every day on it?"

We did a few calculations and he came up with a daily, monthly and annual figure that shocked him. He realized that he really could afford to do a whole lot with the money he had if he adjusted some of his choices.

“Do you think you could cut back some on the smoking and drinking while we work on the panic attacks?”

Sure, that would be no problem.

“Well, before you say that, let me tell you that I am a little concerned. I mean that you have a lot of alcohol in your system. In fact you are never free from the influence. You are also on a pretty high dose of nicotine. I think if you are considering cutting back, you should at least see your doctor and let him monitor this for you, maybe even go into a clinic to make sure that you have no ill effects from the withdrawal. What do you think?”

You’ve given me a lot to think about. I’ll let you know.

A couple of weeks went by and he called me back. The first thing he said was:

Well, I wanted to call you and tell you that I quit.

“What do you mean, ‘You Quit.”? Did you quit your job?"

No. I quit smoking and drinking. I have not had a drink or a smoke in three weeks.

“How are you feeling?”

Well, the first few days were lousy. I felt awful. But, I am feeling pretty good now. I can already tell how much money I’m saving. I mean, I can’t believe how much I was spending on beer and cigarettes. Man, I have better things to do with my money than that!

“Did you see your doctor?”

No, but I’m feeling okay now. And I am really excited. I am really pretty nervous about taking that plane flight, but am really looking forward to seeing my grandson.

We talked on and off for over four years. He did take the plane flight. He never smoked again, and now only drinks a beer or two a week. He still has his job and keeps working, but really likes the yard schedule now, so he never went back to the road. He saved enough money to buy the land he wanted and to put the two trailers on it so he, his daughter and grandson could live close to one another, which they do.

Consider the change principles at work here:
I never labeled him as a failure or alcoholic. I think he would have resisted that. I never told him he was like his father. I never told him he had to reach bottom before he could change. In his mind he was not an “alcoholic” like his father. He could handle his alcohol. I never told him he would have to give it all up in order to be cured from his "disease". I never labeled him as “sick”, because I truly don’t believe drinking too much is a sickness. I believe it is a choice. He found the motivation for change within, i.e. his love for that little grandson.

All I did was help him tap his story and his motivation for change. He told his story and talked himself into changing. He gave up what he needed to give up and changed what he wanted to change to make his dreams come true. His motivation for change was within. This is the kind of change that is more likely to stick for the long haul than any other.

In reality, we cannot do much to motivate people. Most of that will have to come from within them. Our job as leaders is to recognize that all change begins with the individual as we help them find their own motivations for change. It is not in mass communications, incentive programs or change strategies, though these can be helpful. Our job is getting to know people, one person at a time, and helping them tell their stories. When they find the connection between their story and ours, engagement in our mutual effort begins to occur. The person in this story is a stronger contributor at work than he has ever been. He loves and values his company. There is a mutual loyalty and commitment to a common goal. They actually help each other achieve their dreams.

Not a bad way to think about change, eh?

And the Survey Says . . .

And the survey says, “It’s all about leadership!”

• Gallup’s famous research, highlighted by Buckingham and Coffman in First Break All the Rules suggest that the front line manager is the key factor in determining whether employee’s answers to the 12 questions are positive and affirmative. They further demonstrate that affirmative answers to those 12 questions have a statistically significant impact on profits, productivity, retention and satisfaction.




• Jim Collins’ research in Good to Great demonstrates that right leadership doing the right things is what it takes to turn companies around to achieve good to great results for 15 years running.




• Wiseman and McKeown’s research highlighted in Multipliers demonstrates Multipliers actually increase the intelligence and capabilities of those they lead, getting more from them than even the employees themselves even believed possible.




• Dick Thompson, Ph.D. in his book The Stress Effect suggests that people actually do take their emotional cues from their boss. And we know that employee emotions have a significant impact on their performance, productivity, engagement and satisfaction at work.

The recently released 2011 Maritz Research on Employee Engagement indicates that we, as leaders, have a huge opportunity. Maritz found that the American workforce is less engaged with its employers than it was in 2010 and that trust in leadership is eroding.

Some of the findings are sobering:

• Just 14 percent of respondents said they believe that their company’s leaders are ethical and honest.




• Only 12 percent believe their employer genuinely listens to and cares about its employees.




• Ten percent of employees said they trust management to make the right decision in times of uncertainty.

And just 7 percent said that senior management’s actions are consistent with their words.

I am stunned by these findings. Whether you have been (or believe you have been) a part of the digging of this hole is irrelevant. The reality is that as a leader, this hole of negative perception is one that you share with those defined as leaders by the people surveyed.

The first step is to acknowledge and own the problem. And that is part of the difficulty. In my May 26th posting, “So you’ve blown it! Now what?” I write about coaching executives who find themselves in a similar situation.
Frequently, these executives, even the ones that are open to coaching, have a hard time seeing the damage they have done and do not realize how deep a hole they have dug for themselves. Leaders tend to be optimistic people who believe that anything is achievable with a little effort. They also believe that others will quickly recognize their shift in attitude and behavior, realize their good intentions, and all will be well.

I love the optimism, but this is not a problem that a little optimism and a little effort will turn around. The emotional cue that employees receive from such minimal efforts tells them that that their leaders either don’t hear them, or, God forbid, that they really don’t care.

The next steps could be a book in themselves. But we’ll start with reference to another statistic in the Maritz survey:

• Where employees had greater trust than the year before, nearly a third said their personal values were completely consistent with the values of the company.

In order for that to occur, leaders must be sending the emotional cues that tell the story of the company values, cues of courage, optimism, persistence, compassion and respect. They must care enough to listen to the employees to know what they value and to find stories that help employees see that their values are a match. Awareness, listening and communicating sound like great places to begin if we hope to turn the tide back toward confidence in leadership. Turning the tide is a must, because none of us can build our organizations without the support and engagement of great employees

Multipliers and Diminishers

A friend recently pointed me to a new book, Multipliers by Liz Wiseman and Greg McKeown. I didn’t have to read far before my mind sped off in all directions. I have had the privilege of working for and around both Multipliers and Diminishers. One leads to fulfillment and confidence. The other leads to stagnation and frustration.

Multipliers are talent magnets. They get more from people than the people knew they had to give. Their people actually get smarter as they work for them. Their people are engaged. Their opinions matter. They are encouraged to bring their ideas and debate to the table. They are liberated to be the best they can be. The Multiplier is confident and secure in their own skin and does not need to be the center of attention. They don’t believe they have all the answers. That is why they hired the talented people, to get better answers, ideas and solutions. They are not afraid of mistakes; their own or those they lead. They continually raise the bar, challenging their people to achieve more than they dreamed possible, and celebrate with them when they pull it off.

Multipliers have created organizations like Wal-Mart, Google and Whole Foods. Their efforts have led to things like Wikipedia and Open Source development where the brightest and the smartest are engaged and unleashed to contribute their best efforts. Others are making the transition, like IBM, once the stalwart of the “buttoned-up” are embracing a new cultural environment that is more conducive to releasing the power and competency of the highly talented.

If you are a part of a large organization, you know who the Multipliers are. You know where to go so you can contribute, grow and develop. You also know where the Diminishers are, the places to avoid if at all possible.

Diminishers also attract talent. They lure them with great promises, but then underutilize them. They actually drain intelligence by stifling contributions. They are critical of the ideas and opinions of others by always having a better answer. Talent either leaves their organization or they stay and become the walking-dead. Diminishers are also a drain on the organization, always asking for more people to get the job done; the jobs that could easily be done with the talent they currently have, but which they have diminished.

Why do Diminishers do what they do?

There are probably a lot of reasons for such behavior, but the following are some that I have witnessed through my experience in coaching, consulting and executive leadership.

Some of it stems from their desire to be recognized for their empire. They hire great people but never show they have confidence in them or release them to contribute their very best.

Some of it stems from their own insecurity about having really smart people surround them. They know that these people are as good as or better than themselves, and their insecurities quickly surface. They become fearful for their own jobs and begin to pull back to total control. They overtly or inadvertently communicate to the person they have hired and to others in the organization their lack of confidence, further diminishing a talented hire and their potential for success.

Some of it stems from the new person coming into their new role and making the typical errors or mistakes that come with acclimating to a new organization. The Diminisher, in their insecurity sees these mistakes as a reflection on them as the hiring manager, and immediately sees this as a level of incompetence, leading them to devalue the person. As they devalue the person, they don’t challenge the person to take on greater responsibility for fear that they will make more newbie errors, errors that may embarrass them. Again, their own insecurities surface and the talented are stifled and begin to deteriorate.

Some Diminishers do their diminishing unintentionally. They actually believe their reigning in and controlling behavior is a good thing for the organization. Most will never know what could have been because they have never allowed for a fully empowered environment of unleashed high performers.

Unfortunately, the majority of Diminishers are convinced they are not. People tend to frustrate Diminishers. They subscribe to the philosophy that it is easier to control a box full of caterpillars than a room full of butterflies. They never actually get to see what those caterpillars could become, or how much nicer life would be with them functioning at their full potential and capacity.

Stress and Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman provided much of the seminal research around Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and helped us understand how important EQ is to leadership effectiveness. He coined the concept of the “amygdala hijack” as an episode in which a person fails to control their emotional response to a situation and overreacts, usually saying something they later regret.

Additional research suggests that stress has a lot to do with these reactions. Since most leaders live on the edge of overload, it seems valuable to understand the impact that stress may have on us. Dr. Dick Thompson, author of The Stress Effect: Why Smart Leaders Make Dumb Decisions, makes the following observations:

The prefrontal cortex (PFC), or CEO of the brain, controls “higher” level thinking processes, e.g., logic, analysis, decision-making, etc.—a significant portion of the leader’s IQ.

The amygdala, the emotional center of the brain, responds incredibly fast to incoming stimuli. But fortunately, in most cases, the PFC is able to exert control over the amygdala reactions and help the leader avoid an “amygdala hijacking.”

Too much stress “turns off” the PFC, resulting in a drop in cognitive ability (including IQ) and in ability to control the amygdala.

At the same time, the increased stress “turns on” the amygdala creating an oversensitive heightened state of emotion.

A leader loses a significant amount of ability to “control” his emotions, thus becoming temporarily less emotionally intelligent! Stress reduces the leader’s ability to fully access her IQ and emotional intelligence abilities!

Since stress shuts down the CEO of our brain and engages the emotional center, it is critical to be aware of our stress level and to develop strategies for ensuring that our load does not become overload. The tough thing about leadership, is that shift can happen in a matter of minutes, on the next phone call or when the next person walks through your door. Step back and consider what disciplines you are building into your life to keep your stress at the optimal level. That will be a topic for another discussion.

Work and Family: You Can be Great at Both?

When I answered the phone he told me that his regional executive suggested he give me a call, rather than simply calling the 800 number for assistance. This executive and I had several personal conversations and his confidence that I could help one of his managers was communicated clearly to the person on the other end of the phone. But after hearing the manager’s first statement, I knew that this one would be a challenge. After our introductions, he said “I don’t think that married people are cut out to be managers for this company.”

Wow, that is surprising. I know a whole lot of managers in the field and in corporate who have very strong and healthy marriages. Why do you say that? “Well every person in management I know around here is either divorced, separated or having a lot of trouble in their marriage”

Man, that’s unfortunate. How is your marriage doing? “I think it is pretty good. We have been married a few years and have a little girl who is a lot of fun. You know I work about 80 hours a week now and its harder. We used to fight a lot about it, but we don’t anymore.”

I caught him a little off guard when I responded, 'Really, So, when is she leaving you?' “What do you mean, when is she leaving me?”

Well, in my experience a woman will fight for her marriage for a long time. When she was fighting with you about all this she was raising up what I call the yellow flags, telling you that there is a problem. You tell me that you are no longer fighting, but nothing else has changed. That tells me that she has finally raised the white flag of surrender. Two things might occur when that happens. You can continue on in a life of mediocrity, which many do. Or, the unhappiness can be so overwhelming that she could soon raise the red and final flags of “I’m outta here”. That's when she informs you that she can no longer live like this and now wants a divorce. You would be surprised by how many men come into my office and tell me that their wife has asked them for a divorce and they sit there all broken up and dumbfounded, telling me that they had no clue that there was anything wrong. It is as if they think that as long as she was smiling, cooking the meals, cleaning the house and having sex with them, that all was well on the marriage front.

That is when he interrupted me abruptly and said, “O my God, my brother-in-law is sleeping in my house on my sofa right now since his wife kicked him out, and all he can say is that he didn’t know anything was wrong. It was as if she had never indicated there were problems, but my wife and I knew there had been problems for years.”

Man, that’s unfortunate. Maybe your marriage won’t turn out that way. You know, some women are troopers and will put up with a lot for the sake of ‘family’ or at least the image or fantasy of ‘family’. “ I am not sure I want to take my chances with that, but I am also not sure I know how to change things. I mean, this is my first manager’s job and I have a whole crop of new assistant managers who are pretty green. I mean, I simply have to work these hours to stay on top of it all.”

That may or may not be true. I would think that the people who promoted these people to assistant managers believed they were ready for the responsibilities of the job, especially if they were under the supervision of the right coach. And I hear from your regional executive that he is certainly concerned about you and your family. Maybe they are actually more ready than you have given them credit for. It may be worth further exploration.

We then discussed the skills of delegation, development and accountability, and the role of him as a coach in that process. I encouraged him to look into this and let me know what happens.

About three weeks later I received another call from this manager. “Tony, I am now working 55 hours a week. I am spending time with my wife and daughter, and things are going really well at work and at home.”

What happened? “Well after our call I got my thoughts together and gathered my assistant managers and told them that I had been putting in 80 hours a week and had been sacrificing my life and family for the company, and that I couldn't do it any longer. I told them they would have to step up. And you want to know what they said? They said that they were wandering how long it was going to take for me to let go and let them do the jobs they were hired to do. I mean, I had actually been micromanaging them and making them feel completely incompetent all because of my own insecurities.”

How are they doing? “You know, they aren’t perfect, but they are doing a decent job. I am working on being an involved coach and helping them get better, and it really is a much better way to live.”

How about your brother-in-law, how is he? “Man, I gave him ‘what for’ and told him he needed to get his act together and step up to his responsibilities and make things right with his wife. That got him up off the sofa and out of the house. We will just have to see if they can make it work.”

How about your wife, how is she? “She's pretty happy that I am doing this and making these changes. She’s a little skeptical about whether it will stick, but I told her, and really meant it when I said how much I love her and our daughter and want to really make sure we are happy for the long haul. Man, I couldn’t imagine life without either of them”

He went on to say, “She understands that there will always be ebb and flow with the schedule and time requirements of this business, but she truly heard me renew my commitment to our family and believes that together we will ensure that work never keeps us from what is most important to us, even if that eventually means finding another line of work. And that is about the very best I could ever ask for, don’t you think?”

I think that’s pretty good, I responded.

Speaking of Stress

He came into my office one afternoon and sat down. I could tell immediately that he had a lot on his mind and that he seemed to be overwhelmed by something. He started our conversation by gratitude that I did not actually work for the company and that our conversation would be confidential as he considered the decisions ahead of him. I had seen him around the offices on several occasions where we had exchanged small talk. I could tell from a variety of interactions that he was a dedicated employee who had been with the company for several years and was highly valued by colleagues, coworkers and superiors. However, he was not feeling any of these that day.



He began by stating outright that he was seriously considering leaving the company. I could tell that the thought of this in itself was distressing. He truly bled the company colors. As I inquired as to what was bringing him to this decision, he stated that he was working 80 hours per week, was coming in at all hours of the night to get his job done, and it didn’t look like there was any hope or light at the end of the tunnel.



My next question caught him a little off guard, at least until he stopped to gather his thoughts. I asked, “How did you behave yourself into this situation?” After he recovered from the initial shock he asked me to elaborate. I did so by asking a few more questions.



What do you do? “I take care of 16 of 26 divisions for the company in my particular function”



Who takes care of the other ten divisions? “There are two other people who share those”



Why the extensive imbalance? “They are new and inexperienced”



Who raises their hand when there is a new and significant project to be handled? “I do”



Why? “I have more experience and know what needs to be done and can be sure it is done well. . . . . I think I see where you’re going with this”



Does your supervisor know you are overloaded and considering quitting? “Well, he should, he’s my supervisor”



With what I know about the managers/supervisors in this company, that is a big assumption. I am sure he doesn’t. His plate is as full as yours. “That’s true”



We spoke briefly of the need for supervisor training on social awareness and truly engaging and listening to their people, but that I told him that this would not solve his immediate problem.



When he walks by and asks you how things are going and how you are doing, how do you respond? “Well, I tell him I’m fine or that things are great. I am not a complainer and am not looking for sympathy.”



And as long as you keep on responding this way, he may never know. You know, I believe he would be really surprised by your departure. (keep in mind; I do not know who his supervisor is) “You think so?”



Do you think you or your work will be missed if you leave? “Well I’m sure they would have to scramble to get it all done, but I just don’t think I can do this anymore. It is taking a toll on my family and now it’s beginning to take a toll on me physically”



I believe you are right. I can see your stress and anxiety. You are visibly shaking and upset, and I believe on the verge of burnout. Something does need to change, and pretty fast. “That’s why I think I need to quit?”



That is a good alternative, because you can’t go on this way. “What other alternative is there?”



Well I would suggest that you keep this as plan A. Plan B, which I would encourage you to consider since you have nothing to lose, is to sit down with your supervisor, and in a very professional manner, explain to him just what you explained to me. I think you may be surprised. “That will be a tough conversation, but you are right. I have nothing to lose. If nothing changes I will just go ahead with plan A and quit. I just don’t want him to feel as if I am blackmailing him for my personal benefit, because that is really not what this is all about. I’ll do this and let you know what happens.”



A couple of days later he came back to my office, I told him I was surprised to see him because I thought he had been pretty intent on quitting. He said “I followed plan B and explained the situation to my supervisor, who was utterly surprised by the load I was carrying, and deeply ashamed of his lack of awareness about it. He really made me feel good when he told me that there was no way he wanted to lose me. He agreed that my two counterparts were not quite ready yet, but he realized that I could not keep on doing things the way I had been doing them. Together we developed a plan to move a few of my projects to my counterparts and to hire an assistant to help me with a lot of the administrative things that would allow me to be more effective until we got the others ready for more responsibility.”



So, how are you feeling now? “I really believe I am going to be okay. My wife is very happy with the outcome. I can already feel the load lightened and can enjoy my wife, my kids and my life, again.”



I am glad you're better. I concluded our conversation with one more question. So, how will you ensure that you don’t behave yourself into something like this again, or allow your future direct reports to end up in the same situation? This conversation took us on a full review of the learning points from this experience.

Executive Stress and Work/Life Balance: An Oxymoron?

Work / life balance has been the topic of numerous books, articles and blogs for years now. And yet, in all my years addressing senior executives on everything from strategic planning to employee engagement, I have found them reluctant to identify this as an objective for themselves. There are a couple of reasons for their reluctance. One is that there is not a good definition of what it means. The other is that since the definition is most commonly defined by the listener, they do not want to be seen as hypocritical in discussing it.

Maybe it is just the crowd I hang out with, but every senior executive I have consulted with, coached, befriended or assisted in some capacity (often on this very topic) spends a great deal of their time focused on their work. They understand that their success and the success of sometimes thousands of others depend on them being highly effective at what they do. Are they stressed? Are they out of balance? Some of them and their observers would say “Yes” while others would say “No”. The truth is that work/life balance and stress management are both a matter of individual determination. There is not a one-size-fits-all prescription. However, I have noticed that these leaders have some things in common that help them achieve balance and not be destroyed by stress.

First they have given a lot of thought to their personal life mission/purpose, and to their life vision or what they want to have accomplished when they finally get to the end of their journey. I have also noticed that once they have a clear focus on these two things they incorporate a series of disciplines into their life that ensure (as much as it depends on them) that they will arrive at the destination they have envisioned. If that vision includes family, they build in disciplines that ensure they spend time with family now so that they will still be in tact when they get there. If it includes being healthy, they build in disciplines around diet and fitness that ensure they arrive in good shape. If it includes mental acuity and a breadth of interest, they don’t wait until they retire to broaden their interest and learning.

I use the word “discipline” here because that is what I have noticed most about effective leaders. They are disciplined about the things that they have determined to be the most important to them. That discipline allows them to say “yes” to the things that matter, and “no” to even the good things that may not matter as much. These disciplines also allow them to work under a great deal more stress than those who have not become as focused.

Another thing I have noticed is that most did not wait until their life was completely out of balance to work through this exercise. But even those who did wait have found that they can get their lives back on track. My encouragement is to begin this process early and review it often.

Why Strong-Ties?

It has occurred to me that I have not told you why I have chosen "Strong-Ties for Life and Leadership" as the name of my blog.

Several years ago, a friend of mine expressed amazement about the strength of hurricane Andrew that swept through Homestead, Florida in 1992 and the devastation that was created in its wake. What stood out most in his mind was not the degree of destruction, but rather the houses that were left standing in the midst of it all. It turns out that this was no accident. During construction, most of the homes that stood strong were reinforced with simple little devices called hurricane straps, or strong ties. These little devices were designed specifically to prevent the massive devastation that can be caused by the strong winds of a hurricane. Interestingly enough, these little devices can only be installed while the home is being constructed. They cannot be added later, and certainly not just before the storm hits.

Many who heard of the coming devastation scrambled frantically to save their homes. They boarded up the windows, stacked sandbags to prevent flooding, and tied down anything they thought might blow away. Unfortunately for many, those desperate efforts were futile. As hard as they worked, it was simply too little, too late. Their homes were destroyed.

You see when it comes to weathering the storms of life and challenges of leadership, Strong-Ties must be put in place during the construction phase. Some of us were fortunate to have parents, friends, pastors, teachers, mentors and leaders who helped put these Strong-Ties in place early in our lives or in our business careers, and we have continued to build on them. We count ourselves blessed.

Others of us have encountered the storms less prepared and have some rebuilding to do. Those storms have impressed on us the necessity of incorporating these Strong-Ties into our lives and into our businesses. Unlike the house devastated by the hurricane, we have the fortune of being able to learn as we go, and incorporate those Strong-Ties as soon as we recognize the need for reinforcement.

Of course, it is quite possible that over the course of time, Strong-Ties have developed in your life that have actually become Strong-Holds which need to be untied, in order for you to rebuild toward your goals. Some of those destructive ties, such as poor attitudes, habits, and self-image can hold us firmly in our failure and limit our success. Often these negative Strong-Ties are harder to break free from than the more positive ones are to incorporate. This may be where it would be helpful to reach out to an executive coach or personal counselor.

He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. Luke 6:48

Unique Perspective on the Value of Training

Over the past few years I have become fascinated with American History and the people who were instrumental in the foundations and development of this country. I believe it started with Stephen Ambrose’s Undaunted Courage, telling of the Lewis and Clark expedition exploring westward passages, followed by David McCullough’s writing of 1776 and John Adams about the founding of the country, and then Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Team of Rivals, describing the unique presidential administration of Abraham Lincoln during one of the most challenging periods of this new democracy. Since reading these I continue to pick up volumes that describe the people and events that have contributed to this great experiment in freedom that we enjoy. They are filled with stories of wisdom, insight, courage, determination, love, faith, ingenuity, innovation, strength, and most of all, the providence of God, without which this country would never have gotten off the ground.

I recently started reading Pulitzer Prize winner, James McPherson’s, Battle Cry of Freedom: The Civil War Era. In the first chapter of the book McPherson describes the events and politics that led to that epic period our history. As he described the rapid growth and expansion of the nation, he gives insight into the unique factors that contributed to its unparalleled growth and rapid expansion. Among them, he cites the broad distribution of education that instilled the basic morals, values, and principles that allowed for flexibility, adaptation and innovation that propelled America beyond anything the world had ever witnessed.

British observers, noticed widespread literacy in America as one of the reason for the “adaptive versatility” among American workers and their “readiness of apprehension of a new thing,” as opposed to the apprenticeship training that most in the Old World had received, leading to a resistance to change and adaptation. They saw America’s commitment to training and education as one of the reasons for the great success and growth they witnessed.

When I read these words I thought about how critical education and training are to the success of any enterprise that hopes to grow and achieve a compelling vision. It is easy for organizations to underestimate the value of training and development for their leaders, and for leaders to allow the whirlwind of their work to get in the way of their professional development. Though the research is abundant, drawing a direct correlation between training and the achievement of high level results, including productivity, profitability, and customer and employee satisfaction, some still ask, why more training, and what does it really contribute to the mission of the enterprise?

Even if you are a skeptic when it comes to the research, take advantage of every training opportunity offered to you by your organization. It is easy to respond to these opportunities with a “Been there. Done that,” attitude. True enough the skills imparted in one training session may be similar to those you received in another. But the real truth is that you have never had this training in this unique time and circumstances of your career. What may have seemed as basic training with little value in one training session, may surface to meet your most unique challenge today. What may have been a novel idea before, may make absolute sense and have many practical applications today.

One of the great advantages of training is the “white space” it provides for you to pause from the whirlwind of busy-ness to think about your business, your team, your effectiveness and how you can use things from the current training or from the culmination of your experience and training to improve and become more effective.

As McPherson describes it, training and education opens the mind to new ideas and new ways of thinking, acting and responding. It is part of what makes our country so unique. It may also be the difference that makes the difference for your organization.

One leader once told me how distressed he was at the cost of training. He said, “What if I invest all this money and training in them and they are recruited away or leave? What then?” I said, “Well, you could refuse to invest money and training in them and they could stay.” With that, he said, “Okay, I get it!” I hope you get it too!

So you've blown it! Now what?

I have been coaching executives for several years now and am frequently asked by senior executives to come along side a leader who has blown it. They have messed up in some way that has damaged their credibility as a leader. Once in a while the problem will be the leader’s failure to be a strategic business partner. More often than not, it is an interpersonal problem. The problem is often perceived to be a communication breakdown or a personality clash, caused by a recent action or a pattern of behaviors. They may have acted in ways that are inconsistent with the culture and core values of the organization, or they have become controlling and demanding micromanagers undermining their team members. Regardless, of the cause, they have gotten themselves in a deep hole and their task is to get out, or maybe I should say, dig themselves out.

By the time the executive has called me they have already dismissed those leaders who are in denial and resistant to coaching, or those who have damaged relationships or the organization beyond repair. Ordinarily I am working with a leader who is open to coaching (at least they are telling their superior that they are), and who, it is believed, has not done irreparable damage (something that is still to be determined).

Frequently, these executives, even the ones that are open to coaching, have a hard time seeing the damage they have done and do not realize how deep a hole they have dug for themselves. Leaders tend to be optimistic people who believe that anything is achievable with a little effort. They also believe that others will quickly recognize their shift in attitude and behavior, realize their good intentions, and all will be well. I love the optimism, but I can assure you that it is seldom enough to salvage a broken executive. The effort it takes to dig oneself out of the hole is not so different than the effort a leader would dedicate to a business turnaround. Only the extraordinary are up to the challenge.

In addition to the obvious steps of strategy development, goal setting, and plan execution there must be a commitment to three other steps.

1. The first is apologizing and asking for forgiveness from those you have harmed. They must first see that you recognize your failure and are committed to change.

2. Secondly, you must tell them the specific things that you are working on and ask them to watch for the changes that you will be making (shifting their focus from negative to positive). Without this step, it is easy for people to see only what they have grown to expect from you. If their attention is not redirected you will never come out of the hole.

3. Thirdly, follow-up is critical. After you have had an opportunity to work your plan for 60 days or so, it is important to get back with the people that are critical to your success (and that includes many more people than just your superior), and have them rate you on your progress. I suggest that you state the specific goal and ask them to rate you on a 1-10 scale and provide examples of improvement. Not only have you asked them to shift their focus, you are now asking them to start speaking positively of the changes you are making. You will need to repeat this third step after another 60 days of working the plan, and maybe beyond that.

If the people you have offended do not let you out of the hole, you will never get out, no matter how hard you work. These steps are not easy. That is why engaging an executive coach is helpful. By the way, don’t expect to see a turnaround in a few weeks. These changes often take up to a year to achieve, but I am told they are well worth the effort.