Merry Christmas

To a few this very wish will be offensive, or at minimum, viewed with caution. Seldom does a day go by without someone crying “foul” at a nativity scene being erected in celebration of the birth of Jesus, or of someone “Tebowing” or mimicking a young, inspirational football quarterback who gives God credit for everything in his life.

Even as a believer, I find myself frequently offended at things done in His name. I’ll never forget my thoughts as a young pastor trying to establish a new church in Vancouver. While I was trying to hold Christ up as a savior and bringer of hope, several televangelist of the time appeared to have lost their minds. Oral Roberts claimed God would take him on to if he didn’t raise $8Million. Jimmy Swaggart took a public dive into immorality. And Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker ripped off thousands of their sincere donors. My thoughts were, “How could an unchurched community ever be open to the message I was delivering in light of this lunacy?!”

To my amazement, they remained open to the same message that has always been meaningful to me, the message of hope, salvation, and fullness of life; to a light burden and easy yoke; to an abundant life; to joy unspeakable; to peace that passes understanding; to forgiveness and unconditional love; to a transformed life and a life fulfilled.

Truth be told, there will be always be things about Christ and Christianity that will be offensive. He said very clearly, that he would be a stumbling block to some. I hope that you are not one who stumbles at the mention of his name, or at the behavior of some of his followers and allow those to keep you from hearing the message he came to deliver.

Managerial Words that Make My Skin Crawl

“I’m disappointed.” It’s hard to imagine that there are managers who still use these words. I cringe when I hear them. I am sure that others have significantly more negative reactions.

These words are evidence either of a really low emotional intelligence, or an overblown ego and arrogance on the part of the managers who use them. These words tell the person being addressed that they are supposed to live to please the manager and make them happy. Unfortunately, there managers who believe this is as it should be.

Further, these words are paternal in that they treat respectable adults as if they were very young children, indentured servants or, even worse, little puppies rather than people. They are designed to shame and attack the character of individuals.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t commonly recommend these words for parents either. However, for a very young child they can be motivating, if only in a negative way. The trouble with these words is they intend to instill shame, telling the person that they are not worthy of the praise or attention they seek or desire. Such shaming destroys self-confidence and is antithetical to the development of capable people. As children grow, they should be transitioning from living to please their parents or others, to having confidence in their own values, and living in alignment with them.

It is possible that there are employees who have not matured past the need to live to please others. And unfortunately, there are still managers who believe that employees are so immature that they are primarily motivated by external rather than internal sources. Either of these is a tragedy.

It is the responsibility of the manager to treat every person with the highest respect, even when they make mistakes, miss deadlines, or generally screw up, and even when they have to let them go. Shaming may get short term results, but will not resolve the problem that led to the mistakes. A more effective approach is for the manager to step into a place of inquiry to find out what was behind the mistake, missed deadline, or problem behavior. When a manager gets to the root cause and helps a person discover a better approach, they are on their way toward developing more capable people.

There are a lot more managerial words that make my skin crawl, but these two are on the all time top of my list. My hope is that you will eliminate them, and the thought processes behind them from your managerial vocabulary and begin looking for a more effective and respectful developmental approach.

Maybe the Small Things Do Matter Most

Most of us have read and quickly grasped Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, by Richard Carlson. In the context of his writing, that is probably pretty good advice. However, when it comes to managing and leading people, the small stuff really seems to matter.

This was driven home to me this week when I was out touring one of our hospital facilities. We had an opportunity to see, first hand, the great work that the nurses, staff and administrators do to take care of our patients. I will say that group of people deserve huge accolades. They give of themselves tirelessly and passionately, never allowing one person to feel like they are simply just another number.

One of the nurses giving us a tour said that she works for her hospital because of the manager who she first worked for in a temporary basis. She said, “I just loved my manager, so when she asked me to come on full time, I jumped at the chance.” I asked her what it was that made her love her manager. She said, “You want to know what the key to being a great manager is?” Of course as a leadership coach, I was anxious to hear her describe it. I am not sure what I was thinking might come next, but the answer she gave was not it. She said, “The key to being a great manager is ensuring I get my 30 minute lunch break.” She went on to explain that the job of a nurse never lets up as long as there are patients with needs and paperwork to complete. She said if the manager didn’t insist that we take our break, none of us would, except the smokers. She went on to say how important it is for her to get the break, step away from the demands, catch her breath, relax a moment, or make a phone call.

As I said, that is not what I expected to hear, but it drives home how important it is for a manager to be truly sensitive and responsive to the needs of their employees, especially the “Small Stuff”. This is only one example of managers and leaders at this hospital making this a daily practice. As a result, we witnessed fully engaged, smiling and happy employees who were passionate about their work and taking care of their patients, or as they put it, Friends and Family Taking Care of Friends and Family in their community. I am confident that the result of their efforts will be equally satisfied patients and doctors whom this group serves.

Kaleidoscope Leadership

You have looked around yourself at work and things are not going as you would like. The team does not seem to be communicating well or working together effectively. Or you have just returned from an incredibly valuable training conference and you can see numerous things that could be improved to make a difference. You try to share your ideas, but they seem to fly past your colleagues with nothing seeming to stick. You have little authority to command the attention of your colleagues or to impose the changes that you believe would make a difference. What do you do? In such circumstances it is easy to become frustrated and consider giving up. However, you know that giving up is not in your DNA, and finding a new job right now is just not in the cards. What can you do?

I have been a student of systems theory since my graduate education in marriage and family therapy which was shaped by that philosophy. One key component of systems theory is that movement or change in one party in a system can dramatically affect all the other parties. While marriage and family therapy is much more effective when we have as many parties in the room as possible, we learned that if other members of the system are resistant to therapy, changes made by one party can make a significant difference in the functioning of the entire system.

Like a Kaleidoscope, when one piece shifts, the entire picture changes dramatically. This aspect of systems theory applies to any type of human system, including your team or company. You can make a significant difference in your organization simply by shifting your behavior, style, reaction, response, interactions, etc. While it would be ideal for everyone in your organization to be on the same page, it is a rare occurrence. And, while it would be ideal for every team member to go through the same training program that you just went through, it is not always possible. The reason organizations keep on training is because they know that even one person shifting their behavior, approach, style or response will shift the entire organization.

So, make the difference you can make. Keep on sharing your ideas. They may eventually stick. Keep on adjusting your behavior and style to achieve greater effectiveness. You never know who will learn from you. Modify your interactions with another team member and watch how their behavior or response shifts. If you have been in disagreement and conflict, shift from advocacy to inquiry. If you have been avoiding, try speaking up by offering your thoughts and ideas. If you have been acquiescing for the sake of peace, make the elephant in the room visible and see what happens. If you have given up, go gather new data and analysis that will help you support your ideas. Or, consider researching your colleagues opposing idea with in-depth analysis so you may better understand the rationale for the case they are making. There are a lot of things one person can do to make a difference. Giving up is not one of them!

Strong-Ties: The Stuff that Matters to Exceptional Leaders

Weak ties allow us to connect and network with people around the world. Strong-Ties are foundational to success and effectiveness in life and leadership. (For more on Strong-Ties philosophy, check out one of my earlier posts.) The following Strong-Ties are the focus of development for the Exceptional Leader:

They pursue Professional Competence. Exceptional leaders are students of their profession and stay up to date on trends in their industry that may affect their business. They are also students of their organization and the talent that surrounds them, and align these to ensure the are designed to maximize the results they are focused on achieving.

They pursue Personal Excellence. Exceptional leaders are constantly refining themselves and developing their skills and character. Research indicates that a leader's effectiveness is based more on EQ that IQ. EQ, or Emotional Intelligence, is defined by self awareness, self management, social awareness and relationship management. They use a variety of tools and coaches to help them gain an accurate picture of the kind of leader they are today, and they develop solid strategies that will help them become the leader they envision. They have usually developed a personal purpose, mission and vision that serve as guide he keeps them focused and on track. They capitalize on their strengths and ensure that their weaknesses don't lead to their derailment.

They are Students of Leadership. Exceptional Leaders have a unique appreciation of their role as leaders, fully aware of the impact they have on those they lead and on the organization as a whole. They refuse to allow the position to go to their head. Keeping their ego in check, they focus on the development of others and of the organization.


They have Well-Defined Core Values. Identifying your core values is as critical as developing your business plan. Research is growing in the field of Spiritual Intelligence, which takes a look at the foundational values that form the basis for decision making. Core Values are the anchor or central focal point of life that helps leaders keep all other Strong-Ties in balance. Unfortunately there are too many stories of leaders who have derailed and caused others to stumble because they did not clearly identify their values and maintain their commit to them as the guiding principles for their life, leadership, decisions and relationships.


They exhibit Mental Strength and Emotional Wellness. Not unlike the Olympic athlete or members of the elite special forces, leaders of all types must be prepared for the mental pressures that accompany leadership. It takes unusual mental stamina, agility and strength to perform under these pressures, an aspect of leadership that is often underestimated. The stresses and strains of decision making that affect you, your family and the lives of so many other stakeholders require that you have a sound strategy for maintaining exceptional mental and emotional health and personal well-being.

They keep their Primary Promises. Very few effective and respected leaders have achieved their goals and objectives alone. More often than not, they are supported by a spouse and family who have been with them on the journey. Unfortunately, the tales of leadership are filled with the casualties of broken marriages and children run amuck, and with leaders who have lost their credibility because they were ineffective in these most primary and basic relationships. It is possible to achieve success without failing your family, but it will take openness, planning and determination.

They develop strategies for Financial Soundness. Money, like power, often accompanies leadership and success. Unfortunately, both have the ability to corrupt or derail really good people. Developing a sound financial philosophy and strategy will serve you well through this leadership journey whether you are blessed with little, enough, or more than you ever dreamed possible. That leads to a great question worth exploring, What is enough? But that’s a topic for another discussion.

They maintain their Physical Wellness. Much like mental and emotional stamina, physical stamina is required for the journey. Simply put, leadership can take its toll on our body. It is so easy to get so caught up in the tasks of leadership, or so exhausted by them that we simply neglect our own health. Developing a plan for maintaining your physical health and stamina will go a long way toward finishing strong. Much like the marathon, there is nothing quite like rounding the corner of life for the home stretch and crossing the finish line among the cheers of friends, family and our Greatest Fan who will be saying, 'Well done!'

They maintain Strong Relationships. Isolation is a path of least resistance for leaders, but it is also the most dangerous for a host of reasons. 'Community' is used broadly here, referring to those you surround yourself with (business and accountability partners), as well as those you serve. Since there is only so much time in a day, week, month, year, lifetime, it becomes critical that you think through your plan for community which may include your selection of business partners, clients, suppliers, as well as your involvement in religious, civic and charitable activities. Involvement in the latter of these will do wonders for the development of perspective about life, work, challenges, obstacles and the strength of your fellow human beings.

They free themselves from destructive Strong-Holds. There is often a tug-o-war between the incorporation of the Strong-Ties that lead to success and effectiveness, and the more destructive Ties that seem bent on ensuring our failure. If we are not careful these destructive elements in our life actually become Strong-Holds that limit our success and effectiveness. Some of the destructive Ties consist of negative messages that we have either heard from others or ourselves over the course of our lives, and have come to believe as truth. They can consist of negative self-image and attitudes, bitterness toward someone who has treated us unjustly, or habits and addictions that seem to be unbreakable. Though it is true that these Strong-Holds can feel like an anchor that keeps us from rising to the top, they are not insurmountable, nor do they need to continue to be the controlling force in your life.

Small Shifts by Leaders Make a Big Difference with Employees

When it comes to motivating employees to do their best and achieve at the highest levels, it looks like leaders miss the mark more than they would like.

According to Carloyn Dewar and Scott Keller, Authors of Beyond Performance: How great organizations build ultimate competitive advantage, we miss that mark primarily because we fail to tap into what really is important to our employees. First, they point out that we often appeal to the circumstances of the company when attempting to engage our people in a change initiative and fail to appeal to the other four sources of motivation. For those committed to the company this is good, but that is only 20%, while we miss engaging the other 80% of our workforce. Secondly, they suggest that we are too transactional in our rewards and fail to offer up the relationship-building rewards. Thirdly, we often fail to ask the questions that truly engage employees, and too often we fail to stop and listen to their answers which let them tell their story of engagement. And, finally, we tend to focus on their failures to perform more frequently than we focus on the positive contributions.

Shifting our focus just a bit may be all that is necessary to shift our organizations into a higher gear.

Thoughts from Get Motivated Speakers

I had the opportunity to attend the Get Motivated seminar in Nashville yesterday. I was not particularly impressed with the heavy sales pitches during the day, but I knew going in that to hear these speakers for two bucks, I was going to require hearing a sales pitch or two. All in all, the speakers provide great food for thought.

I thought you might enjoy some of the key points I considered noteworthy:

Krish Dhanam
Learned from Zig Ziglar who helped him know his faith as his future as a speaker and trainer.
Understands the blessing of the U.S. having come here as an immigrant with $9 in his pocket.
Book: ­The American Dream from and Indian Heart

Hope in Turbulent Times comes from:

• Genuine Leadership



• Restored Relationships: Political correctness may be the one thing that can destroy the U.S. - giving rise mediocrity. There is no such thing as “equal”, just fair.



• Amicable Relationships



• Complete Partnerships



• Effective Stewardship – leave more than you take

Howard Putnam, former CEO of Southwest Airlines. Started out as a baggage handler in the airline industry. His father taught him to pilot as he did his son.
Succeeding through Turbulence requires:

• Value of Preparation: When the time to perform arrives, the time to prepare is past



• Very Clear Vision – a Clear Flight Plan – What is your ultimate value proposition? Sell the vision and the experience – now you have a brand i.e. Southwest, Starbucks



• Support it with the Culture. Hire attitude and fit for the culture – Teach skills. Pay attention to the small stuff



• Get balance in your life: An airplane will fly with an engine with two propellers if they are balanced. Are your priorities (propellers on your engine) in balance – work, family, faith, health



• Get out of your comfort zone and do something new and challenging till you die.



• Thoughtful bumper sticker “Are you really the person your dog thinks you are?”
  

Rudy Giuliani – America’s Mayor

• We’re in a revolution. Most people don’t know they are in one until it is over – i.e. the industrial revolution, travel, technology.



• Catastrophizing is the new marketing strategy because it seems to be the only thing that can get people’s attention anymore.



• Allow information and technology to be your ally. NYC was changed from a crime ridden city to one of the safest cities in the country by our use of Com.Stat that helped us track crime and deploy the right resources in the right place. We changed our welfare agencies with a similar tracking program that turned welfare workers into employment agents helping people find good jobs. We rewarded them for their success in helping people find work and stay in good jobs.



• Advice:
  Read – for knowledge and fun
  Listen – to successful people – copy relentlessly
  Take Notes – engages the mind
  Love People and be there for them, especially in their time of need
  

Colin Powell – former Secretary of State

• In my first leadership post, I was told that my job as Lieutenant is to put followers in a position where they can get the job done and succeed.



• Be concerned for all – from janitor to president – all are valued and important to the mission.



• Take care of the troops – equipment, tools, resources, recognition, notes of encouragement and thanks, getting them connected.



• Don’t tolerate poor performers – don’t allow them to hold the good performers back



• Build trust – Will they follow you, if only out of curiosity?



• There are only about 500M people caught up in conflict around the world. We don’t hear much about the other 6.5B who are not in conflict and who are out there working hard to make their economies work. We should focus more attention there.



• The U.S. is still the inspiration for the world.
  

Lou Holtz

I’m a pretty simple man. Don’t tell people about your problems. 90% don’t care and the other 10% are glad you have them.

• Choose your Attitude. You are going to get knocked down. Choose an attitude that gets you back up.



• Great stories about coming into the South Carolina program and getting knocked down, about getting fired from Arkansas and being hired by Notre Dame, about having to suspend his 3 star players just before Arkansas played Oklahoma – where they went into the game as a 24 pt underdog. Went into the locker room and said “Everyone is telling us why we can’t win. I want you to tell me why we can beat OK.” Players gradually began speaking – got fired up and beat OK 31 to 6!



• Dream – you will go nowhere without dreams. Started marriage with 108 goals and have completed 102 of them. You’re either growing or dying – don’t stop risking



• Make good choices. Committed to excellence. Do right. When I got fired in AR – after leading them to their seven best seasons ever, I wanted to retaliate and go to the media. My wife wouldn’t let me. It was Frank Broyles who later told the guys at Notre Dame to hire me, because he was going to try to hire him back. If I had let my bitterness show, I would never have gotten that recommendation.



• Do everything to the best of your ability. Focus on what you can do – just like that underdog AR team against OK.



• Show people you care. Never attack the performer – just the performance
  

James Smith – I don’t understand why people buy and wear shirts with someone else’s name and number on them. They are certainly not wearing a shirt with your name and number on it. Why not wear a shirt with your own name and number on it?

Bill Cosby

• Told the story of his 1st 16 months as a comedian wanting to play the prestigious Kelly’s Club in Chicago.



• How he had been incredibly successful in smaller venues and was recruited to play this one – his dream.



• How he let the demons of insecurity completely consume him and how he failed miserably during the first show of the night.



• Then how the off stage banter between him and the person who was to introduce him was being overheard by the audience, and got them to laughing, which eased the tension and allowed him to go on stage and bring down the house.
  

Mary Buffet – daughter of Warren Buffet – on Warren’s investment advice

• Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful



• Buy companies that have durable competitive advantage – household names that people will keep on buying in good times and bad – Coke, Johnson and Johnson, Gillette – those that own a piece of our conscious mind.



• Buy Timeless Companies – similar to above. The reason Buffett does not invest in most technology stocks is because they are too easily put out of business.



• Buy when the Price is Right. He bought RJR Nabisco after the Surgeon General required cigarettes to be labeled as causing cancer. He said that people forgot about the Nabisco part of the company and as the stock plunged, it became undervalued.



• One rule – “Never Lose Money”



• Can’t make a good deal with a bad guy. It is easier to stay out of trouble than to get out of trouble.

Christopher Gardner – the subject of the movie – “The Pursuit of Happiness” with Will Smith

• Memoirs are hard to write because you are required to open all those little boxes that you have closed up in your mind and heart that are labeled “Do Not Touch”.



• Difference in the movie and reality: my son was only 14 months old when we lived in the homeless shelters and in the park bathroom. I was not treated well by my stepfather and I was committed to be the best father I could be. I promised myself that my kids would know their father.



• My first step in overcoming the adversity was owning the fact that I had actually driven myself to this place (of homelessness). Once I owned it, I knew that I could change it. The reason I knew is because my mother instilled in me that I could be anything I wanted to be. She almost over did it as I was intent on being Miles Davis. I played the trumpet pretty well, but finally about 18 yrs old she told me that someone else already had that job. But I knew I wanted to be world class at something.



• I fought hard to have the movie script rewritten such that Will Smith would leave that same optimism with his son in the movie (referring to the scene on the basketball court).



• Find your button – the one thing that you’re truly passionate about. Nobody needs to dig it but you. Mom called them “my ghosts” when I started dreaming. As soon as you need someone to validate it, it may be a mirage.\



• My mom used to tell me to “Keep working because the Calvary ain’t coming. God’s too busy helping people that are worse off than you.” When you find that passion, keep working.