Daniel Goleman provided much of the seminal research around Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and helped us understand how important EQ is to leadership effectiveness. He coined the concept of the “amygdala hijack” as an episode in which a person fails to control their emotional response to a situation and overreacts, usually saying something they later regret.
Additional research suggests that stress has a lot to do with these reactions. Since most leaders live on the edge of overload, it seems valuable to understand the impact that stress may have on us. Dr. Dick Thompson, author of The Stress Effect: Why Smart Leaders Make Dumb Decisions, makes the following observations:
The prefrontal cortex (PFC), or CEO of the brain, controls “higher” level thinking processes, e.g., logic, analysis, decision-making, etc.—a significant portion of the leader’s IQ.
The amygdala, the emotional center of the brain, responds incredibly fast to incoming stimuli. But fortunately, in most cases, the PFC is able to exert control over the amygdala reactions and help the leader avoid an “amygdala hijacking.”
Too much stress “turns off” the PFC, resulting in a drop in cognitive ability (including IQ) and in ability to control the amygdala.
At the same time, the increased stress “turns on” the amygdala creating an oversensitive heightened state of emotion.
A leader loses a significant amount of ability to “control” his emotions, thus becoming temporarily less emotionally intelligent! Stress reduces the leader’s ability to fully access her IQ and emotional intelligence abilities!
Since stress shuts down the CEO of our brain and engages the emotional center, it is critical to be aware of our stress level and to develop strategies for ensuring that our load does not become overload. The tough thing about leadership, is that shift can happen in a matter of minutes, on the next phone call or when the next person walks through your door. Step back and consider what disciplines you are building into your life to keep your stress at the optimal level. That will be a topic for another discussion.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Work and Family: You Can be Great at Both?
When I answered the phone he told me that his regional executive suggested he give me a call, rather than simply calling the 800 number for assistance. This executive and I had several personal conversations and his confidence that I could help one of his managers was communicated clearly to the person on the other end of the phone. But after hearing the manager’s first statement, I knew that this one would be a challenge. After our introductions, he said “I don’t think that married people are cut out to be managers for this company.”
Wow, that is surprising. I know a whole lot of managers in the field and in corporate who have very strong and healthy marriages. Why do you say that? “Well every person in management I know around here is either divorced, separated or having a lot of trouble in their marriage”
Man, that’s unfortunate. How is your marriage doing? “I think it is pretty good. We have been married a few years and have a little girl who is a lot of fun. You know I work about 80 hours a week now and its harder. We used to fight a lot about it, but we don’t anymore.”
I caught him a little off guard when I responded, 'Really, So, when is she leaving you?' “What do you mean, when is she leaving me?”
Well, in my experience a woman will fight for her marriage for a long time. When she was fighting with you about all this she was raising up what I call the yellow flags, telling you that there is a problem. You tell me that you are no longer fighting, but nothing else has changed. That tells me that she has finally raised the white flag of surrender. Two things might occur when that happens. You can continue on in a life of mediocrity, which many do. Or, the unhappiness can be so overwhelming that she could soon raise the red and final flags of “I’m outta here”. That's when she informs you that she can no longer live like this and now wants a divorce. You would be surprised by how many men come into my office and tell me that their wife has asked them for a divorce and they sit there all broken up and dumbfounded, telling me that they had no clue that there was anything wrong. It is as if they think that as long as she was smiling, cooking the meals, cleaning the house and having sex with them, that all was well on the marriage front.
That is when he interrupted me abruptly and said, “O my God, my brother-in-law is sleeping in my house on my sofa right now since his wife kicked him out, and all he can say is that he didn’t know anything was wrong. It was as if she had never indicated there were problems, but my wife and I knew there had been problems for years.”
Man, that’s unfortunate. Maybe your marriage won’t turn out that way. You know, some women are troopers and will put up with a lot for the sake of ‘family’ or at least the image or fantasy of ‘family’. “ I am not sure I want to take my chances with that, but I am also not sure I know how to change things. I mean, this is my first manager’s job and I have a whole crop of new assistant managers who are pretty green. I mean, I simply have to work these hours to stay on top of it all.”
That may or may not be true. I would think that the people who promoted these people to assistant managers believed they were ready for the responsibilities of the job, especially if they were under the supervision of the right coach. And I hear from your regional executive that he is certainly concerned about you and your family. Maybe they are actually more ready than you have given them credit for. It may be worth further exploration.
We then discussed the skills of delegation, development and accountability, and the role of him as a coach in that process. I encouraged him to look into this and let me know what happens.
About three weeks later I received another call from this manager. “Tony, I am now working 55 hours a week. I am spending time with my wife and daughter, and things are going really well at work and at home.”
What happened? “Well after our call I got my thoughts together and gathered my assistant managers and told them that I had been putting in 80 hours a week and had been sacrificing my life and family for the company, and that I couldn't do it any longer. I told them they would have to step up. And you want to know what they said? They said that they were wandering how long it was going to take for me to let go and let them do the jobs they were hired to do. I mean, I had actually been micromanaging them and making them feel completely incompetent all because of my own insecurities.”
How are they doing? “You know, they aren’t perfect, but they are doing a decent job. I am working on being an involved coach and helping them get better, and it really is a much better way to live.”
How about your brother-in-law, how is he? “Man, I gave him ‘what for’ and told him he needed to get his act together and step up to his responsibilities and make things right with his wife. That got him up off the sofa and out of the house. We will just have to see if they can make it work.”
How about your wife, how is she? “She's pretty happy that I am doing this and making these changes. She’s a little skeptical about whether it will stick, but I told her, and really meant it when I said how much I love her and our daughter and want to really make sure we are happy for the long haul. Man, I couldn’t imagine life without either of them”
He went on to say, “She understands that there will always be ebb and flow with the schedule and time requirements of this business, but she truly heard me renew my commitment to our family and believes that together we will ensure that work never keeps us from what is most important to us, even if that eventually means finding another line of work. And that is about the very best I could ever ask for, don’t you think?”
I think that’s pretty good, I responded.
Wow, that is surprising. I know a whole lot of managers in the field and in corporate who have very strong and healthy marriages. Why do you say that? “Well every person in management I know around here is either divorced, separated or having a lot of trouble in their marriage”
Man, that’s unfortunate. How is your marriage doing? “I think it is pretty good. We have been married a few years and have a little girl who is a lot of fun. You know I work about 80 hours a week now and its harder. We used to fight a lot about it, but we don’t anymore.”
I caught him a little off guard when I responded, 'Really, So, when is she leaving you?' “What do you mean, when is she leaving me?”
Well, in my experience a woman will fight for her marriage for a long time. When she was fighting with you about all this she was raising up what I call the yellow flags, telling you that there is a problem. You tell me that you are no longer fighting, but nothing else has changed. That tells me that she has finally raised the white flag of surrender. Two things might occur when that happens. You can continue on in a life of mediocrity, which many do. Or, the unhappiness can be so overwhelming that she could soon raise the red and final flags of “I’m outta here”. That's when she informs you that she can no longer live like this and now wants a divorce. You would be surprised by how many men come into my office and tell me that their wife has asked them for a divorce and they sit there all broken up and dumbfounded, telling me that they had no clue that there was anything wrong. It is as if they think that as long as she was smiling, cooking the meals, cleaning the house and having sex with them, that all was well on the marriage front.
That is when he interrupted me abruptly and said, “O my God, my brother-in-law is sleeping in my house on my sofa right now since his wife kicked him out, and all he can say is that he didn’t know anything was wrong. It was as if she had never indicated there were problems, but my wife and I knew there had been problems for years.”
Man, that’s unfortunate. Maybe your marriage won’t turn out that way. You know, some women are troopers and will put up with a lot for the sake of ‘family’ or at least the image or fantasy of ‘family’. “ I am not sure I want to take my chances with that, but I am also not sure I know how to change things. I mean, this is my first manager’s job and I have a whole crop of new assistant managers who are pretty green. I mean, I simply have to work these hours to stay on top of it all.”
That may or may not be true. I would think that the people who promoted these people to assistant managers believed they were ready for the responsibilities of the job, especially if they were under the supervision of the right coach. And I hear from your regional executive that he is certainly concerned about you and your family. Maybe they are actually more ready than you have given them credit for. It may be worth further exploration.
We then discussed the skills of delegation, development and accountability, and the role of him as a coach in that process. I encouraged him to look into this and let me know what happens.
About three weeks later I received another call from this manager. “Tony, I am now working 55 hours a week. I am spending time with my wife and daughter, and things are going really well at work and at home.”
What happened? “Well after our call I got my thoughts together and gathered my assistant managers and told them that I had been putting in 80 hours a week and had been sacrificing my life and family for the company, and that I couldn't do it any longer. I told them they would have to step up. And you want to know what they said? They said that they were wandering how long it was going to take for me to let go and let them do the jobs they were hired to do. I mean, I had actually been micromanaging them and making them feel completely incompetent all because of my own insecurities.”
How are they doing? “You know, they aren’t perfect, but they are doing a decent job. I am working on being an involved coach and helping them get better, and it really is a much better way to live.”
How about your brother-in-law, how is he? “Man, I gave him ‘what for’ and told him he needed to get his act together and step up to his responsibilities and make things right with his wife. That got him up off the sofa and out of the house. We will just have to see if they can make it work.”
How about your wife, how is she? “She's pretty happy that I am doing this and making these changes. She’s a little skeptical about whether it will stick, but I told her, and really meant it when I said how much I love her and our daughter and want to really make sure we are happy for the long haul. Man, I couldn’t imagine life without either of them”
He went on to say, “She understands that there will always be ebb and flow with the schedule and time requirements of this business, but she truly heard me renew my commitment to our family and believes that together we will ensure that work never keeps us from what is most important to us, even if that eventually means finding another line of work. And that is about the very best I could ever ask for, don’t you think?”
I think that’s pretty good, I responded.
Speaking of Stress
He came into my office one afternoon and sat down. I could tell immediately that he had a lot on his mind and that he seemed to be overwhelmed by something. He started our conversation by gratitude that I did not actually work for the company and that our conversation would be confidential as he considered the decisions ahead of him. I had seen him around the offices on several occasions where we had exchanged small talk. I could tell from a variety of interactions that he was a dedicated employee who had been with the company for several years and was highly valued by colleagues, coworkers and superiors. However, he was not feeling any of these that day.
He began by stating outright that he was seriously considering leaving the company. I could tell that the thought of this in itself was distressing. He truly bled the company colors. As I inquired as to what was bringing him to this decision, he stated that he was working 80 hours per week, was coming in at all hours of the night to get his job done, and it didn’t look like there was any hope or light at the end of the tunnel.
My next question caught him a little off guard, at least until he stopped to gather his thoughts. I asked, “How did you behave yourself into this situation?” After he recovered from the initial shock he asked me to elaborate. I did so by asking a few more questions.
What do you do? “I take care of 16 of 26 divisions for the company in my particular function”
Who takes care of the other ten divisions? “There are two other people who share those”
Why the extensive imbalance? “They are new and inexperienced”
Who raises their hand when there is a new and significant project to be handled? “I do”
Why? “I have more experience and know what needs to be done and can be sure it is done well. . . . . I think I see where you’re going with this”
Does your supervisor know you are overloaded and considering quitting? “Well, he should, he’s my supervisor”
With what I know about the managers/supervisors in this company, that is a big assumption. I am sure he doesn’t. His plate is as full as yours. “That’s true”
We spoke briefly of the need for supervisor training on social awareness and truly engaging and listening to their people, but that I told him that this would not solve his immediate problem.
When he walks by and asks you how things are going and how you are doing, how do you respond? “Well, I tell him I’m fine or that things are great. I am not a complainer and am not looking for sympathy.”
And as long as you keep on responding this way, he may never know. You know, I believe he would be really surprised by your departure. (keep in mind; I do not know who his supervisor is) “You think so?”
Do you think you or your work will be missed if you leave? “Well I’m sure they would have to scramble to get it all done, but I just don’t think I can do this anymore. It is taking a toll on my family and now it’s beginning to take a toll on me physically”
I believe you are right. I can see your stress and anxiety. You are visibly shaking and upset, and I believe on the verge of burnout. Something does need to change, and pretty fast. “That’s why I think I need to quit?”
That is a good alternative, because you can’t go on this way. “What other alternative is there?”
Well I would suggest that you keep this as plan A. Plan B, which I would encourage you to consider since you have nothing to lose, is to sit down with your supervisor, and in a very professional manner, explain to him just what you explained to me. I think you may be surprised. “That will be a tough conversation, but you are right. I have nothing to lose. If nothing changes I will just go ahead with plan A and quit. I just don’t want him to feel as if I am blackmailing him for my personal benefit, because that is really not what this is all about. I’ll do this and let you know what happens.”
A couple of days later he came back to my office, I told him I was surprised to see him because I thought he had been pretty intent on quitting. He said “I followed plan B and explained the situation to my supervisor, who was utterly surprised by the load I was carrying, and deeply ashamed of his lack of awareness about it. He really made me feel good when he told me that there was no way he wanted to lose me. He agreed that my two counterparts were not quite ready yet, but he realized that I could not keep on doing things the way I had been doing them. Together we developed a plan to move a few of my projects to my counterparts and to hire an assistant to help me with a lot of the administrative things that would allow me to be more effective until we got the others ready for more responsibility.”
So, how are you feeling now? “I really believe I am going to be okay. My wife is very happy with the outcome. I can already feel the load lightened and can enjoy my wife, my kids and my life, again.”
I am glad you're better. I concluded our conversation with one more question. So, how will you ensure that you don’t behave yourself into something like this again, or allow your future direct reports to end up in the same situation? This conversation took us on a full review of the learning points from this experience.
He began by stating outright that he was seriously considering leaving the company. I could tell that the thought of this in itself was distressing. He truly bled the company colors. As I inquired as to what was bringing him to this decision, he stated that he was working 80 hours per week, was coming in at all hours of the night to get his job done, and it didn’t look like there was any hope or light at the end of the tunnel.
My next question caught him a little off guard, at least until he stopped to gather his thoughts. I asked, “How did you behave yourself into this situation?” After he recovered from the initial shock he asked me to elaborate. I did so by asking a few more questions.
What do you do? “I take care of 16 of 26 divisions for the company in my particular function”
Who takes care of the other ten divisions? “There are two other people who share those”
Why the extensive imbalance? “They are new and inexperienced”
Who raises their hand when there is a new and significant project to be handled? “I do”
Why? “I have more experience and know what needs to be done and can be sure it is done well. . . . . I think I see where you’re going with this”
Does your supervisor know you are overloaded and considering quitting? “Well, he should, he’s my supervisor”
With what I know about the managers/supervisors in this company, that is a big assumption. I am sure he doesn’t. His plate is as full as yours. “That’s true”
We spoke briefly of the need for supervisor training on social awareness and truly engaging and listening to their people, but that I told him that this would not solve his immediate problem.
When he walks by and asks you how things are going and how you are doing, how do you respond? “Well, I tell him I’m fine or that things are great. I am not a complainer and am not looking for sympathy.”
And as long as you keep on responding this way, he may never know. You know, I believe he would be really surprised by your departure. (keep in mind; I do not know who his supervisor is) “You think so?”
Do you think you or your work will be missed if you leave? “Well I’m sure they would have to scramble to get it all done, but I just don’t think I can do this anymore. It is taking a toll on my family and now it’s beginning to take a toll on me physically”
I believe you are right. I can see your stress and anxiety. You are visibly shaking and upset, and I believe on the verge of burnout. Something does need to change, and pretty fast. “That’s why I think I need to quit?”
That is a good alternative, because you can’t go on this way. “What other alternative is there?”
Well I would suggest that you keep this as plan A. Plan B, which I would encourage you to consider since you have nothing to lose, is to sit down with your supervisor, and in a very professional manner, explain to him just what you explained to me. I think you may be surprised. “That will be a tough conversation, but you are right. I have nothing to lose. If nothing changes I will just go ahead with plan A and quit. I just don’t want him to feel as if I am blackmailing him for my personal benefit, because that is really not what this is all about. I’ll do this and let you know what happens.”
A couple of days later he came back to my office, I told him I was surprised to see him because I thought he had been pretty intent on quitting. He said “I followed plan B and explained the situation to my supervisor, who was utterly surprised by the load I was carrying, and deeply ashamed of his lack of awareness about it. He really made me feel good when he told me that there was no way he wanted to lose me. He agreed that my two counterparts were not quite ready yet, but he realized that I could not keep on doing things the way I had been doing them. Together we developed a plan to move a few of my projects to my counterparts and to hire an assistant to help me with a lot of the administrative things that would allow me to be more effective until we got the others ready for more responsibility.”
So, how are you feeling now? “I really believe I am going to be okay. My wife is very happy with the outcome. I can already feel the load lightened and can enjoy my wife, my kids and my life, again.”
I am glad you're better. I concluded our conversation with one more question. So, how will you ensure that you don’t behave yourself into something like this again, or allow your future direct reports to end up in the same situation? This conversation took us on a full review of the learning points from this experience.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Executive Stress and Work/Life Balance: An Oxymoron?
Work / life balance has been the topic of numerous books, articles and blogs for years now. And yet, in all my years addressing senior executives on everything from strategic planning to employee engagement, I have found them reluctant to identify this as an objective for themselves. There are a couple of reasons for their reluctance. One is that there is not a good definition of what it means. The other is that since the definition is most commonly defined by the listener, they do not want to be seen as hypocritical in discussing it.
Maybe it is just the crowd I hang out with, but every senior executive I have consulted with, coached, befriended or assisted in some capacity (often on this very topic) spends a great deal of their time focused on their work. They understand that their success and the success of sometimes thousands of others depend on them being highly effective at what they do. Are they stressed? Are they out of balance? Some of them and their observers would say “Yes” while others would say “No”. The truth is that work/life balance and stress management are both a matter of individual determination. There is not a one-size-fits-all prescription. However, I have noticed that these leaders have some things in common that help them achieve balance and not be destroyed by stress.
First they have given a lot of thought to their personal life mission/purpose, and to their life vision or what they want to have accomplished when they finally get to the end of their journey. I have also noticed that once they have a clear focus on these two things they incorporate a series of disciplines into their life that ensure (as much as it depends on them) that they will arrive at the destination they have envisioned. If that vision includes family, they build in disciplines that ensure they spend time with family now so that they will still be in tact when they get there. If it includes being healthy, they build in disciplines around diet and fitness that ensure they arrive in good shape. If it includes mental acuity and a breadth of interest, they don’t wait until they retire to broaden their interest and learning.
I use the word “discipline” here because that is what I have noticed most about effective leaders. They are disciplined about the things that they have determined to be the most important to them. That discipline allows them to say “yes” to the things that matter, and “no” to even the good things that may not matter as much. These disciplines also allow them to work under a great deal more stress than those who have not become as focused.
Another thing I have noticed is that most did not wait until their life was completely out of balance to work through this exercise. But even those who did wait have found that they can get their lives back on track. My encouragement is to begin this process early and review it often.
Maybe it is just the crowd I hang out with, but every senior executive I have consulted with, coached, befriended or assisted in some capacity (often on this very topic) spends a great deal of their time focused on their work. They understand that their success and the success of sometimes thousands of others depend on them being highly effective at what they do. Are they stressed? Are they out of balance? Some of them and their observers would say “Yes” while others would say “No”. The truth is that work/life balance and stress management are both a matter of individual determination. There is not a one-size-fits-all prescription. However, I have noticed that these leaders have some things in common that help them achieve balance and not be destroyed by stress.
First they have given a lot of thought to their personal life mission/purpose, and to their life vision or what they want to have accomplished when they finally get to the end of their journey. I have also noticed that once they have a clear focus on these two things they incorporate a series of disciplines into their life that ensure (as much as it depends on them) that they will arrive at the destination they have envisioned. If that vision includes family, they build in disciplines that ensure they spend time with family now so that they will still be in tact when they get there. If it includes being healthy, they build in disciplines around diet and fitness that ensure they arrive in good shape. If it includes mental acuity and a breadth of interest, they don’t wait until they retire to broaden their interest and learning.
I use the word “discipline” here because that is what I have noticed most about effective leaders. They are disciplined about the things that they have determined to be the most important to them. That discipline allows them to say “yes” to the things that matter, and “no” to even the good things that may not matter as much. These disciplines also allow them to work under a great deal more stress than those who have not become as focused.
Another thing I have noticed is that most did not wait until their life was completely out of balance to work through this exercise. But even those who did wait have found that they can get their lives back on track. My encouragement is to begin this process early and review it often.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Why Strong-Ties?
It has occurred to me that I have not told you why I have chosen "Strong-Ties for Life and Leadership" as the name of my blog.
Several years ago, a friend of mine expressed amazement about the strength of hurricane Andrew that swept through Homestead, Florida in 1992 and the devastation that was created in its wake. What stood out most in his mind was not the degree of destruction, but rather the houses that were left standing in the midst of it all. It turns out that this was no accident. During construction, most of the homes that stood strong were reinforced with simple little devices called hurricane straps, or strong ties. These little devices were designed specifically to prevent the massive devastation that can be caused by the strong winds of a hurricane. Interestingly enough, these little devices can only be installed while the home is being constructed. They cannot be added later, and certainly not just before the storm hits.
Many who heard of the coming devastation scrambled frantically to save their homes. They boarded up the windows, stacked sandbags to prevent flooding, and tied down anything they thought might blow away. Unfortunately for many, those desperate efforts were futile. As hard as they worked, it was simply too little, too late. Their homes were destroyed.
You see when it comes to weathering the storms of life and challenges of leadership, Strong-Ties must be put in place during the construction phase. Some of us were fortunate to have parents, friends, pastors, teachers, mentors and leaders who helped put these Strong-Ties in place early in our lives or in our business careers, and we have continued to build on them. We count ourselves blessed.
Others of us have encountered the storms less prepared and have some rebuilding to do. Those storms have impressed on us the necessity of incorporating these Strong-Ties into our lives and into our businesses. Unlike the house devastated by the hurricane, we have the fortune of being able to learn as we go, and incorporate those Strong-Ties as soon as we recognize the need for reinforcement.
Of course, it is quite possible that over the course of time, Strong-Ties have developed in your life that have actually become Strong-Holds which need to be untied, in order for you to rebuild toward your goals. Some of those destructive ties, such as poor attitudes, habits, and self-image can hold us firmly in our failure and limit our success. Often these negative Strong-Ties are harder to break free from than the more positive ones are to incorporate. This may be where it would be helpful to reach out to an executive coach or personal counselor.
He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. Luke 6:48
Many who heard of the coming devastation scrambled frantically to save their homes. They boarded up the windows, stacked sandbags to prevent flooding, and tied down anything they thought might blow away. Unfortunately for many, those desperate efforts were futile. As hard as they worked, it was simply too little, too late. Their homes were destroyed.
You see when it comes to weathering the storms of life and challenges of leadership, Strong-Ties must be put in place during the construction phase. Some of us were fortunate to have parents, friends, pastors, teachers, mentors and leaders who helped put these Strong-Ties in place early in our lives or in our business careers, and we have continued to build on them. We count ourselves blessed.
Others of us have encountered the storms less prepared and have some rebuilding to do. Those storms have impressed on us the necessity of incorporating these Strong-Ties into our lives and into our businesses. Unlike the house devastated by the hurricane, we have the fortune of being able to learn as we go, and incorporate those Strong-Ties as soon as we recognize the need for reinforcement.
Of course, it is quite possible that over the course of time, Strong-Ties have developed in your life that have actually become Strong-Holds which need to be untied, in order for you to rebuild toward your goals. Some of those destructive ties, such as poor attitudes, habits, and self-image can hold us firmly in our failure and limit our success. Often these negative Strong-Ties are harder to break free from than the more positive ones are to incorporate. This may be where it would be helpful to reach out to an executive coach or personal counselor.
He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. Luke 6:48
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Unique Perspective on the Value of Training
Over the past few years I have become fascinated with American History and the people who were instrumental in the foundations and development of this country. I believe it started with Stephen Ambrose’s Undaunted Courage, telling of the Lewis and Clark expedition exploring westward passages, followed by David McCullough’s writing of 1776 and John Adams about the founding of the country, and then Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Team of Rivals, describing the unique presidential administration of Abraham Lincoln during one of the most challenging periods of this new democracy. Since reading these I continue to pick up volumes that describe the people and events that have contributed to this great experiment in freedom that we enjoy. They are filled with stories of wisdom, insight, courage, determination, love, faith, ingenuity, innovation, strength, and most of all, the providence of God, without which this country would never have gotten off the ground.
I recently started reading Pulitzer Prize winner, James McPherson’s, Battle Cry of Freedom: The Civil War Era. In the first chapter of the book McPherson describes the events and politics that led to that epic period our history. As he described the rapid growth and expansion of the nation, he gives insight into the unique factors that contributed to its unparalleled growth and rapid expansion. Among them, he cites the broad distribution of education that instilled the basic morals, values, and principles that allowed for flexibility, adaptation and innovation that propelled America beyond anything the world had ever witnessed.
British observers, noticed widespread literacy in America as one of the reason for the “adaptive versatility” among American workers and their “readiness of apprehension of a new thing,” as opposed to the apprenticeship training that most in the Old World had received, leading to a resistance to change and adaptation. They saw America’s commitment to training and education as one of the reasons for the great success and growth they witnessed.
When I read these words I thought about how critical education and training are to the success of any enterprise that hopes to grow and achieve a compelling vision. It is easy for organizations to underestimate the value of training and development for their leaders, and for leaders to allow the whirlwind of their work to get in the way of their professional development. Though the research is abundant, drawing a direct correlation between training and the achievement of high level results, including productivity, profitability, and customer and employee satisfaction, some still ask, why more training, and what does it really contribute to the mission of the enterprise?
Even if you are a skeptic when it comes to the research, take advantage of every training opportunity offered to you by your organization. It is easy to respond to these opportunities with a “Been there. Done that,” attitude. True enough the skills imparted in one training session may be similar to those you received in another. But the real truth is that you have never had this training in this unique time and circumstances of your career. What may have seemed as basic training with little value in one training session, may surface to meet your most unique challenge today. What may have been a novel idea before, may make absolute sense and have many practical applications today.
One of the great advantages of training is the “white space” it provides for you to pause from the whirlwind of busy-ness to think about your business, your team, your effectiveness and how you can use things from the current training or from the culmination of your experience and training to improve and become more effective.
As McPherson describes it, training and education opens the mind to new ideas and new ways of thinking, acting and responding. It is part of what makes our country so unique. It may also be the difference that makes the difference for your organization.
One leader once told me how distressed he was at the cost of training. He said, “What if I invest all this money and training in them and they are recruited away or leave? What then?” I said, “Well, you could refuse to invest money and training in them and they could stay.” With that, he said, “Okay, I get it!” I hope you get it too!
I recently started reading Pulitzer Prize winner, James McPherson’s, Battle Cry of Freedom: The Civil War Era. In the first chapter of the book McPherson describes the events and politics that led to that epic period our history. As he described the rapid growth and expansion of the nation, he gives insight into the unique factors that contributed to its unparalleled growth and rapid expansion. Among them, he cites the broad distribution of education that instilled the basic morals, values, and principles that allowed for flexibility, adaptation and innovation that propelled America beyond anything the world had ever witnessed.
British observers, noticed widespread literacy in America as one of the reason for the “adaptive versatility” among American workers and their “readiness of apprehension of a new thing,” as opposed to the apprenticeship training that most in the Old World had received, leading to a resistance to change and adaptation. They saw America’s commitment to training and education as one of the reasons for the great success and growth they witnessed.
When I read these words I thought about how critical education and training are to the success of any enterprise that hopes to grow and achieve a compelling vision. It is easy for organizations to underestimate the value of training and development for their leaders, and for leaders to allow the whirlwind of their work to get in the way of their professional development. Though the research is abundant, drawing a direct correlation between training and the achievement of high level results, including productivity, profitability, and customer and employee satisfaction, some still ask, why more training, and what does it really contribute to the mission of the enterprise?
Even if you are a skeptic when it comes to the research, take advantage of every training opportunity offered to you by your organization. It is easy to respond to these opportunities with a “Been there. Done that,” attitude. True enough the skills imparted in one training session may be similar to those you received in another. But the real truth is that you have never had this training in this unique time and circumstances of your career. What may have seemed as basic training with little value in one training session, may surface to meet your most unique challenge today. What may have been a novel idea before, may make absolute sense and have many practical applications today.
One of the great advantages of training is the “white space” it provides for you to pause from the whirlwind of busy-ness to think about your business, your team, your effectiveness and how you can use things from the current training or from the culmination of your experience and training to improve and become more effective.
As McPherson describes it, training and education opens the mind to new ideas and new ways of thinking, acting and responding. It is part of what makes our country so unique. It may also be the difference that makes the difference for your organization.
One leader once told me how distressed he was at the cost of training. He said, “What if I invest all this money and training in them and they are recruited away or leave? What then?” I said, “Well, you could refuse to invest money and training in them and they could stay.” With that, he said, “Okay, I get it!” I hope you get it too!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
So you've blown it! Now what?
I have been coaching executives for several years now and am frequently asked by senior executives to come along side a leader who has blown it. They have messed up in some way that has damaged their credibility as a leader. Once in a while the problem will be the leader’s failure to be a strategic business partner. More often than not, it is an interpersonal problem. The problem is often perceived to be a communication breakdown or a personality clash, caused by a recent action or a pattern of behaviors. They may have acted in ways that are inconsistent with the culture and core values of the organization, or they have become controlling and demanding micromanagers undermining their team members. Regardless, of the cause, they have gotten themselves in a deep hole and their task is to get out, or maybe I should say, dig themselves out.
By the time the executive has called me they have already dismissed those leaders who are in denial and resistant to coaching, or those who have damaged relationships or the organization beyond repair. Ordinarily I am working with a leader who is open to coaching (at least they are telling their superior that they are), and who, it is believed, has not done irreparable damage (something that is still to be determined).
Frequently, these executives, even the ones that are open to coaching, have a hard time seeing the damage they have done and do not realize how deep a hole they have dug for themselves. Leaders tend to be optimistic people who believe that anything is achievable with a little effort. They also believe that others will quickly recognize their shift in attitude and behavior, realize their good intentions, and all will be well. I love the optimism, but I can assure you that it is seldom enough to salvage a broken executive. The effort it takes to dig oneself out of the hole is not so different than the effort a leader would dedicate to a business turnaround. Only the extraordinary are up to the challenge.
In addition to the obvious steps of strategy development, goal setting, and plan execution there must be a commitment to three other steps.
1. The first is apologizing and asking for forgiveness from those you have harmed. They must first see that you recognize your failure and are committed to change.
2. Secondly, you must tell them the specific things that you are working on and ask them to watch for the changes that you will be making (shifting their focus from negative to positive). Without this step, it is easy for people to see only what they have grown to expect from you. If their attention is not redirected you will never come out of the hole.
3. Thirdly, follow-up is critical. After you have had an opportunity to work your plan for 60 days or so, it is important to get back with the people that are critical to your success (and that includes many more people than just your superior), and have them rate you on your progress. I suggest that you state the specific goal and ask them to rate you on a 1-10 scale and provide examples of improvement. Not only have you asked them to shift their focus, you are now asking them to start speaking positively of the changes you are making. You will need to repeat this third step after another 60 days of working the plan, and maybe beyond that.
If the people you have offended do not let you out of the hole, you will never get out, no matter how hard you work. These steps are not easy. That is why engaging an executive coach is helpful. By the way, don’t expect to see a turnaround in a few weeks. These changes often take up to a year to achieve, but I am told they are well worth the effort.
By the time the executive has called me they have already dismissed those leaders who are in denial and resistant to coaching, or those who have damaged relationships or the organization beyond repair. Ordinarily I am working with a leader who is open to coaching (at least they are telling their superior that they are), and who, it is believed, has not done irreparable damage (something that is still to be determined).
Frequently, these executives, even the ones that are open to coaching, have a hard time seeing the damage they have done and do not realize how deep a hole they have dug for themselves. Leaders tend to be optimistic people who believe that anything is achievable with a little effort. They also believe that others will quickly recognize their shift in attitude and behavior, realize their good intentions, and all will be well. I love the optimism, but I can assure you that it is seldom enough to salvage a broken executive. The effort it takes to dig oneself out of the hole is not so different than the effort a leader would dedicate to a business turnaround. Only the extraordinary are up to the challenge.
In addition to the obvious steps of strategy development, goal setting, and plan execution there must be a commitment to three other steps.
1. The first is apologizing and asking for forgiveness from those you have harmed. They must first see that you recognize your failure and are committed to change.
2. Secondly, you must tell them the specific things that you are working on and ask them to watch for the changes that you will be making (shifting their focus from negative to positive). Without this step, it is easy for people to see only what they have grown to expect from you. If their attention is not redirected you will never come out of the hole.
3. Thirdly, follow-up is critical. After you have had an opportunity to work your plan for 60 days or so, it is important to get back with the people that are critical to your success (and that includes many more people than just your superior), and have them rate you on your progress. I suggest that you state the specific goal and ask them to rate you on a 1-10 scale and provide examples of improvement. Not only have you asked them to shift their focus, you are now asking them to start speaking positively of the changes you are making. You will need to repeat this third step after another 60 days of working the plan, and maybe beyond that.
If the people you have offended do not let you out of the hole, you will never get out, no matter how hard you work. These steps are not easy. That is why engaging an executive coach is helpful. By the way, don’t expect to see a turnaround in a few weeks. These changes often take up to a year to achieve, but I am told they are well worth the effort.
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